Insecurities can develop in different ways. Something in the past could trigger it, or a life event such as a job lay off or having kids could implant it. It is normal to have insecurities about some things but be careful to not let them harm your marriage.
Insecurities can cause you to mistrust your spouse because you feel you are not worthy of him/her. Some reasons could be unemployment, poor self image or lack of direction. You may feel you are not giving your spouse what he/she needs or wants and therefore you may feel inadequate.
So you start initiating arguments and/or criticizing your spouse on his/her decision making skills. Eventually your wife/husband starts second guessing their decisions and their self esteem slowly deteriorates.
Before you know it, you’ve pushed your spouse away and they start looking for approval from someone else.
Bang! Your insecurities which led to the mistrust of your spouse just killed your marriage.
Before you pull the trigger, communicate your feelings with your spouse. Don’t assume your spouse feels poorly about you.
Insecurities can cause you to engage in destructive behavior. This can cause you to seek the attention of other men/women to feel better about yourself. If you go down that road, keep in mind that you risk having an affair and losing your spouse.
You may say that it just happened or the affair didn’t mean anything to you. Well, it didn’t just happen, your behavior led to the affair and it may not have meant anything to you, but it meant a lot to your spouse.
Bang! Your insecurities which led to your self destructive behavior just killed your marriage.
Before you pull the trigger, ask yourself why you are seeking the attention of someone else. If your spouse is not fulfilling you in any way, speak to him/her about it instead of seeking what you want from someone else.
Insecurities can cause you to slip into depression. You may start feeling so bad about yourself that you will check out from your life with family and friends. If you find yourself depressed, seek help because if you don’t, that depression will take a toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally.
Unfortunately, if you don’t allow your spouse to know what is going on with you, he/she cannot attempt to help. What you have accomplished is to push your spouse away.
Bang! Your insecurities which led to depression just killed your marriage.
Before you pull the trigger, seek the help of a doctor. The medical attention can help you get better which in turn will help your marriage.
Communicate with your spouse if you start feeling insecure about yourself. Please don’t go through anything negative alone. Many times the way we feel about ourselves is not the way our spouse feels about us.
Finally, by all means, do not allow your insecurities to lead you to potentially destructive behavior that will kill your marriage.
BMWK family, how has insecurity affected your marriage?