Meet Arthur, 91, and Ruby, 89, Lawrence of Wake Forest, NC (they relocated to Rhode Island where they currently reside.) They married at the ages of 16 and 18 and are the parents of 9 children. They’ve left their mark on history by starting a church, establishing a scholarship fund, and having a North Carolina community center named in their honor. Three years ago, President Barack and First Lady Michelle Obama sent them a letter in celebration of their 70th anniversary.
Recently, the two interviewed with Delisha Easley of the Black Love Forum to share their experience and offer advice to young couples. They say that the key to making it last is being friends first and observing other couples. They site friendship as the foundation of their relationship.
Ruby, who says divorce never crossed her mind, says that she learned from other marriages and wanted better for hers while Arthur says his parents set a great example of how a marriage should be.
When Easley asked what advice they would give to newly married couples, Ruby’s replied:
“I really don’t know what to give these kind of people (she says jokingly) because some of them don’t really understand how a marriage is suppose to be. How it’s suppose to be. You’re supposed to love one another and do the best you can no matter what happens you’re suppose to keep your love for your husband or wife. I don’t care what they’ve done or do you have to always forgive them. You don’t forget but you have to forgive. You never forget nothing I don’t care what it is. You will always think about it forever but you have to forgive or you want be forgiven.”
Read the full interview on the Black Love Forum’s website.
BMWK – Do you agree with Arthur and Ruby’s advice? What’s the best advice that an older couple has given you?
Patricia says
Their advice is good but it won’t work for everyone. I also believe that you have to forgive and forget in order to move on in any relationship.
Joyce says
This is very beautiful, truly this is real love, commitment all the way, no matter what. And the part said you never forget, I think that’s the devil trying to bring it back up. Thank God they knew not to go there again, when you forgive it has to real or you want make it. Thank God for them. It’s simply beautiful..
Niambi says
This is great advice. I would just add that you may have to learn to “forget” some things in order to let go so that you can heal in your marriage.
CORNELIA HOWARD DUNNINGS says
I agree that marriage is a coming together of two people who take vows that you are committed til death do you part. Therefore you have to WORK to keep that commitment; even when things go wrong [and they will]. You need to understand that ‘the grass may NOT be greener on the other side”. If you think you made a mistake, try to fix it or compromise and learn to adjust the way you look @ life; especially if you have children. After 50 yrs of marriage, I value our comfort with each other. I deal with his flaws and he deals with my perfection.
Allison says
I agree with Niambi. There are some things will will simply HAVE to forget (i.e., let it go). Forgiveness is HUGE in marriage, grace is necessary, COMEDY . . . essential, friendship, foundational. God . . . absolutely must have! Give each other room to grow and change . . . for you will both do it whether you meant to or not!
Delisha Easley says
First of thanks Lamar and Ronnie for sharing my article!! It was truly an honor to interview this couple. You can tell they are still very much in love with each other. I enjoy all your sweet comments and so do the Lawrence’s;-) Even though I’m of a total generation I still have hope that marriages like this can exist and be formed. Friendship and forgiveness is key to any relationship especially MARRIAGE. I believe today’s persona of marriage has given us an excuse to not really establish any of this within a relationship and in turn if it doesn’t work out just leave. The honor of marriage has to be re-established with sites like this one and blackloveforum.com we are doing just that!
Charles Edward Lawrence says
These are my grandparents and I have made it my mission to honor them and all they have seen or lived through. Telling their story to the world I hope to motivate people to have faith in love and relationships. Thanks to Black Love Forum and Delisha Easley we are making it happen.
Kimberly Goodall says
I need to hear that, inspire me a lot to keep holding on even through the storm, bad times don’t last forever, thanks for reminding me!!!
Duane Gibson says
He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing ! God is the Author and finisher of Our faith and I believe in the Bible and its Laws the Word is God . She is right forgiveness is the ought that allows US to be free , Jesus Christ is the Head of Us all if We trust in Him and He abides in Us then we can have healthy strong relationships In Christ !
Renee Johnson says
Okay, look at the ERA they were raised up in. Hey, I married my so-called I thought best-friend, made love two, three times a day and he still continued to CHEAT! so it takes TWO to make a relationship and I kept on FORGIVING and FORGIVING, until he completely left me and when I did speak with him, he had the nerves to say HE DIDN’T KNOW WHY?he regret what he done, etc, etc. Honey, it wasn’t easy but I, finally FORGAVE him but I had to let go of bitterness, hatred, etc, etc it took me 7 yrs. I still say it depends on the person(s) and their morals because someone can hurt you so DEEP until …………. Hey, I learned from that FATAL mistake. God first period! Do, I think relationships could last as long as theirs has YES! but it takes 2. It’s so easy to get a divorce now days and this goes for some women and men. The same thing it took to GET HIM/HER is the same thing it takes to KEEP HIM/HER but it still takes TWO. Equally Yoked! His father was a big cheater and his mother seat there for 32 yrs and took it. NOT I and when I filed for divorce, then folks want to quote the bible to justify things and I said ADULTERY! OK! but as long as I was sucking it up and putting on them different faces, girl he loves her and just didn’t know I was DYING in the inside. Hey, too each it’s own but as for me. I SHALL WAIT ON THE LORD! Amen!
Marion says
Before recording, Thad and Jason like to write with artists to get an understanding of who they are and where
they want to be. She told the story of growing up in a deeply spiritual home and a nurturing church,
where she first found her voice. Holding a $100 bill focus and saying, “the energy moves through me knowing I am an abundant being,” for example is very liberating while making
love.
My web blog christian hudson (Marion)
Melanie says
Right away I am going to do my breakfast, later than having my
breakfast coming yet again to read additional news.