What were some of your biggest challenges that you faced early on in your marriage, and how were you able to overcome them?
Deborah: The way we started off was happy and in love, not knowing up from down. When the glamour wore off, the reality set in. It was like, ‘Oh, we need real jobs? You mean we have to pay a mortgage now and it’s not $200 a month anymore?’ I had actually left Jerome, for about two weeks. But Jerome’s mother said to me: ‘Deborah Mills: You better take your behind back home! You never open up your home for another woman to come in.’ I will never forget her saying that. But the biggest challenges were all the little silly things that start out small and end up becoming really big; things like putting the toilet paper on the roll right, or not unloading/loading the dishwasher correctly.
Jerome: Right around years 3, 4 and 5, for most couples is when all of that “pretty fluff’ wears off. You realize you actually have to live with this person, and that’s where it starts to be a challenge. Fortunately, my wife was constantly after me about us going to marriage counseling. My parents (who are Pastors now), were able to refer us to another couple who counseled us. The counseling was based on the bible, and it was through the counseling that I understood what marriage was all about, and how to have a successful marriage with God leading the way. That’s really what saved and sustained us. They taught us that we’re going to be more blessed by staying together than we could apart from one another.
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Deborah and Jerome thank you for sharing your story. It is very inspiring to hear about your ups and downs and how your marriage and love is stronger than ever!
Hi Karen, thanks for taking time to read and comment. They truly are inspiring 🙂
Karen, thank you for reading and leaving a comment. We know that the struggles we faced in those early years are experienced by many others. Even the challenges faced daily…we all have them, HOWEVER, we can overcome them.
It is truly wonderful to see that there are black couples that have marriages that last beyond the first couple of years. Reading this article should give hopeless couples a renewed since of hope and let them know that marriage is an institution ordained by God and there are people willing to help restore it – all we need to do is ask for it. Thank you Deborah and Jerome for being a beacon of hope to us all.
I couldn’t have said it better Faye. I think a lot of times, people just don’t ask for the help. But I’m so happy that Deborah and Jerome were able to share their story with all of us, so others can see that it really is ok to ask for it.
I have known Deb & Rome for over 18 years. Their story is one of great success. Yet, this success is not limited to them. They are willing to share their lives with others to help them overcome challenges, not just in marriage but in everyday life. One thing that you see when you watch them is that they allow each other to be who they are. The accept each other’s quirks. They know how to laugh “with” each other as opposed to “at” each other. They have wisdom beyond their years and give sound advice. They have climbed up the mountain together and gained tools that will help others’ climb less of a challenge. I have had the experience on many occasions to have heart felt discussions with them about my children, my life and my choices. I always left the conversation with more than when I entered. They are real people who have overcome real challenges and are not afraid to open themselves up to help others. They are two wonderful people who have blessed my life in many ways and I love them. They have a heart to help others. Reach out to them, I’m positive that they will have something for you as well.
That was beautiful. They sound like a great couple!
Wow, thank you so very much for sharing M-Jaye! I believe everything you said without a shadow of a doubt just from my telephone conversation with them.
M-Jaye – thank you!
This was soo beautiful…. There are some success stories out here!!!!!
Yes GeeGee! There are and we will be bringing many more of them to the spotlight so stay tuned 🙂
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