Jared and Kristi Frei struggled for years with infertility and miscarriage in an attempt to expand their family. In 2011, they found hope when Tira Bland gave up her daughter, Leah, for adoption. Unfortunately for Leah’s father, he was not notified by his wife, the adoption agency or the new family until after the adoption took place.
Terry Achane, a drill sergeant in Texas, and then wife, Bland, experienced marital issues shortly after she found out she was pregnant. Despite her desire to have an abortion or to give the baby away, Achane convinced her to keep it. Just over a week after Achane was transferred to South Carolina for work, Bland gave birth to a premature baby. Fearing her marriage would end and she would become a single parent, she’d already signed Leah over for adoption.
Knowing Bland had not notified Leah’s father of her plans, Adoption Center of Choice warned the new family that he may contest it if he found out. It wasn’t until June that Bland called him and let him know his daughter was given up for adoption, but when he tried to contact the adoptive family, they declined to disclose any information. According to the agency, this was standard procedure.
Judge Darold McDade, however, feels the adoption agency’s handling of the case is ‘utterly indefensible” and ordered the child to be returned to her father within 60 days. In response, the Frei family asked that Achane’s parental rights be terminated claiming that he abandoned his wife and unborn child. They have raised over $20,000 to help with legal fees to appeal the decision.
“If they prolong it, that is more time away from my daughter. There are precious moments I can’t get back,” Achane said. “It has been a year and a half now. There is no court order saying they have the right to my child. I just won the case. I want to get my daughter and raise my daughter.”
Read more about the case on the Daily Mail website.
BMWK– What would you have done as the mother or father in this situation? What are your thoughts on how the adoptive family and agency handled it?
dany says
This is a case where the county should have stepped in. If a mother has terminated her parental rights, then they notify the father to establish paternity and custody. When her husband transferred to WORK, to provide for a FAMILY, he was under the impression their agreement was in tact. Nothing indicates there was an attempt to contact him when her decision changed. Either the mother has some significant mental health issues and needs intense treatment, or should be criminally liable for what she did.
They could have made this decision together. Shame on her and the adoption agency, which should also be help liable. I hope this man reaps a sizable sum for what they did. AND SHE WAS STILL MARRIED?!?!?!?
Bring that little girl back home to her father, where she is wanted and belongs.
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REVDEB says
It’s clear that this was not abandonment. This was stupid on the mothers and the couples part. Bad decision reaps just outcome. Even if it was abandonment how many times have we heard “Black Men step up and be responsible for your kids.” Well this brother is fulfilling GODS law and regardless of how we feel OBEDIENCE IS BETTER THAN SACRIFICE!!! Amen.
Jacqueline says
This adoptive couple clearly don’t have that child’s best interest at heart. I’m sorry they aren’t able to conceive but she has a father who WANTS her and that is where she belongs. The mother just needs her a$$ beat cause that was low down what she did. I don’t care what was going on between her and him as far as marital problems she shouldn’t have denied that man his right as a father to know what was going on with his child!
Sam says
We Don’t know that the father was ever out of contact with the mother THe child was premature. HE likely did not know that she had been born. IF the mother was being dishonest, he may have thought she was still pregnant while the paper work was being processed.
Marie says
The child was 2 months premature. Achane had already put in for leave for when he thought would be the due date. He tried contacting his wife, he even had friends drive by his home in Texas to see if she was still there, he was told that the house looked vacant. he contacted her family, he was told that she had the baby but she didnt have the child. three months after the child was born she finally contacted Achane and told him that she had given the child up for adoption. The family that adopted baby Leah had full knowledge that Achane had not given his consent to this adoption…the family was aware that once he found out he would most likely come for his child…they decided to proceed with the adoption anyway. WHY??!!! Pure selfishness! It’s appalling to know that people who say that they believe in God would do something like this. I don’t feel sorry for the adoptive parents. I feel sorry for the baby and for Sgt. Achane. They have been victimized by the mother the adoptive parents and especially by the adoption agency! I hope theses people realize what they’re doing is wrong and return that child to her FATHER!!!
Kirstin (aka The Travelin Diva) says
Without question that brother should be given his baby back! WTH?! It’s not fair to him or the child.
alotofkids says
Gosh, this is terrible. What a mess! I wish the birth parents marriage wasn’ in such an awful place. That baby is just gorgeous and seems very happy. I personally think she should stay right where she is with her adoptive parents who are probably much more stable than BOTH of the birth parents. Is the father plannig to exit the military? If not, he will get custody only to be required to sign custody over to some else so that he may be deployed at will, for indefinite durations and unlimited tours of duty. That child will end up spending time with his hotties and then probably end up with a wicked step-mother, witness a divorce and the prelude to it. He obviously doesn’t really know how to pick women because that type bizarre choice on his ex’s part signals visible strangeness! Is his extended family crazy? Will she stuck with a bunch scary uncles, aunts, and cousins while he is away trying to make it as a single parent. I know people who have been married for 5 years and only spent 18 mos together due to the military career of one spouse. The whole thing is tragic but, to me the best way to minimize the effects for that little baby girl is to not end up with either birth parent. They both need Jesus, counseling, and some downtime.
Aaron Laramore (@politicalseason) says
This seems pretty open and shut. I’m not sure how it is that the shady adoptive couple is not open to criminal charges at this point. The adoption agency is clearly at fault, since they made this transfer knowing that the father had not considered. If I were the father, I would sue them out of existence and if the state licenses such agencies or otherwise controls their ability to operate, they should simply be shut down. The entire episode is criminal. I don’t know all the circumstances, but this mother is pretty foul and her parental rights should be terminated.