Every since I was a little girl, I have heard; children need both of their parents, God hates divorce, and you should stay for those kids. I agree that it is beneficial for children to be raised by two loving parents. There are certain things mommy provides and other things that daddy provides. But does that mean I must stay for the sake of the children? For that matter, where did this notion ever come from?
So, do I stay for the sake of the kids? The choice is completely up to you. Sure, I know you will listen to the advice of others but others can’t and shouldn’t make this decision for you. This one is up to you.
Here are three things to consider if you are facing this decision. Weigh these things along with the many other items you have to consider.
- Do you want your marriage? A glimmer of hope between two willing people can move mountains. Obstacles may be present but working together, you and your spouse can overcome the hurdles.
- Are the children being raised in a healthy environment? A toxic environment has the potential to poison everyone in the household, including your children. Consider if your marriage is good for your health. Abuse comes in many forms not just physical, but emotional, psychological, verbal, and on and on. You need to be safe and healthy
- Is this a decision that must be made now? If you haven’t already, reach out to a qualified person for help. It may take a non-family member, non-friend to help you see the best solution. If time is on your side use it to your benefit.
We are filled with tons of emotions and memories that stem back to childhood. Memories that say things like, “I always said my child would be raised by both parents.” The dream of the ideal family with the white picket fence and roses in the garden may or may not exist in reality, but here is the thing, your life is your life. Not even your children can live your life for you.
Weigh the pros and cons of a child growing up in the environment you and your spouse have created. Consider what the children will go through if you stay together or if you don’t. Are you setting an example of not giving up and working things out or one of misery and defeat through staying?
I have often found the best way to make a decision is to ask yourself some tough questions and be honest with your answers.
There are many questions asked here. Only you have the answers. Mama ‘hem, society, your church, your best friend, none of them can live your life’s choices. Do what is best for you, your spouse and your children.
Marriage is meant to be beautiful and filled with joy. Yet, it also comes with speed bumps along the way. If you need help or clarity with the decisions and questions you face, seek help. Male and female alike get some support. Exhaust every option.
Do I Stay For The Sake Of The Children? This is your question to answer. No matter the answer, it will come with challenges however, remember you are not alone.
BMWK, are you in a relationship for the sake of your children?