Conflict arises in marriage. And when that happens, it’s natural to need an ear or a shoulder sometimes. We need our moments to vent and to get some helpful feedback. But we need to be careful that those we’re allowing into our marriage aren’t doing more harm than good with their advice, or lack thereof.
Be sure that you’re talking about your marriage with the right people by making a list of your marriage supporters. Choose two to three trustworthy people who you can turn to when you need to confide in someone about your marriage. Think about who you put on the list; the obvious people aren’t always the best.
For instance, you may love your best friend, but if he’s bitter over a breakup, then you probably shouldn’t include him. Your mom may be wonderful, but if she can only ever take your side and not look at things objectively, she may not belong on the supporter list either.
Whether they are close friends or relatives, counselors or marriage mentors from church, choose those you trust to:
a) keep whatever you must divulge about your marriage between them and you
b) support your marriage’s success fully and not just you as an individual
Just like you may have an “In Case of Emergency” contact list for your personal safety, these are your emergency contacts for your marriage safety. Make a special group for them in your phone, and pull up this list first when you need a marriage supporter.
BMWK, Who is on your marriage emergency contact list?
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