In Boxing, the goal is often misunderstood. The goal is not to get hit. It’s inevitable every boxer will get hit. The best way to deal with how you get hit, is how you respond. The analogy is a boxing analogy, but I don’t mean it in a violent way. The counter-punch is the best way to respond to adversity in boxing. The same holds true in life and in relationships.
The best way to deal with an issue is to acknowledge there is an issue and to calculate a response. Your response is also fully and solely your responsibility. It’s not up to anyone else to respond for you. It’s up to you to decide what you are willing to take, what are your standards, what are your deal-breakers and what are you terms of re-investing in the relationship. There lies blame in a response (or lack thereof) if there is no response to bad behavior.
Blame has a place in situations, because it’s important to know the root of an issue, so we can keep this from happening again. Blame is simply an acknowledgement and responsibility for wrong-doing. In relationship challenges, the point of blame can change in a given time, so in contentious situations, until tensions die down, it’s better to accept personal responsibility for an issue rather than place blame. Learn how to counter-punch effectively (yet with compassion) so you can more forward to correct issues rather than moving in reverse dealing with the cause over and over again.
BMWK, Do you play the blame game?