By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter
This week has been a trying one for me. I lost a dear friend unexpectedly. While I still struggle with understanding why, my focus remains on her husband and young daughter. My friend was an entrepreneur and a bold and driven woman; she traveled, she truly lived and gave 110% to everything she did. At only 28 she dreamed big and followed each of those dreams. I learned so much from her in life and continue to learn from her in death.
The lesson, I have known for years, but somehow still forget to practice regularly is not to sweat the small stuff. And as one book so aptly puts it and I agree, it’s all small stuff. My friend’s death has helped my husband and I remember what is truly important. We can’t afford to waste time on petty differences and miss out on opportunities to demonstrate and receive love and affection. Although neither of us was ever big on nagging or frequent bickering, I think we are both even more focused on creating a home and marriage of peace.
I just want to encourage other couples. If you are blessed to have someone you love in your life, make sure you always treat them like you love them. Even when we don’t always agree, they should never be able to question how we feel about them; love should always be evident. I know relationships/marriages aren’t always easy. We might struggle, but we must recognize that what we have is a gift. It is precious and it is ours. We do have the choice to treat it as we please, but it is my hope that we don’t take it for granted. We can choose to neglect it at times, believing it will always be there, hoping to have another opportunity to get it right. Or we can choose to get it right the first time by being fully present, giving love and not wasting time.
My heart may be heavy this week BMWK family, but I am inspired by what I have learned from my dear friend and I know her journey through my life was for a purpose. I hope my sharing this inspires you as well. Remember to love like it’s your first time loving, every time! And don’t sweat the small stuff; don’t ever make something small something big. Love, love, love your spouse and family and make each day count.
Tiya Cunningham-Sumter is a Certified Life & Relationship Coach, Founder of Life Editing. Tiya was featured in Ebony Magazine in the October 2008 and November 2010 issues. Tiya recently created and launched (Tuesdays with Tiya) Life Editing Radio show on blogtalkradio.com. She resides in Chicago with her husband and two children.
An extremely important & beautiful message. This puts life in perspective!
An extremely important & beautiful message. This puts life in perspective!
YES!!! My husband and I were were in our prime, New house, travel, not in debt, We were enjoying the fruit of our labor.
Then in Nov 2010 Cancer came in our lives.. By the time the doctors finally find out what type of cancer he had, and what stage. It was to late.. My husband was sent to hospice Jan 2011, He died April 2011.
I was lucky, I got to say everything I needed and wanted to say. But Nothing will take away the pain I am in. My kids have lost their father.
My message is, if you are yelling at your husband for the toilet seat, or his clothes on the floor, or that he is calling you to much. STOP! there is so much more to life than this.
If you are a man, stop fussing because you wife does not cook the cornbread like your mother.
I would give anything to hear my husbands voice, to hear his ring tone. My daughter who is 12, will grow up without the first man who ever loved her.
Life is short…
Thanks for sharing…you have definitely given us a wake-up call.
Thanks for sharing…you have definitely given us a wake-up call.
Thanks for sharing…you have definitely given us a wake-up call.
Lyne, thank you for sharing. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I will be in prayer for you and your family.
Tyia..I am sorry for your loss…and thank-you for putting things into perspective!!!
Tyia..I am sorry for your loss…and thank-you for putting things into perspective!!!
Tyia..I am sorry for your loss…and thank-you for putting things into perspective!!!
Thank you Ronnie.
I want to thank you both. I posted so folks will stop being so silly about things. I am 40, my husband was 49. We are YOUNG. Death does not happen to just older people. It happens.
It is a lesson I am forced to learn, I would sweat the small stuff, Energy wasted where I could have been telling him I loved him ANOTHER time.
Thank you for sharing. Im yelling not about the toilet seat about communication and spending time with family. I’m goign to try to do better. Sorry for your loss and I will keep your family and your friend’s family in prayer.
Yes,you no the people in the world are so selfish that they forgot what they have don’t belong to them,that they forget to get down on their knees and thank God,for the luxury and pleasure that they have while they’re passing throught this great land on their way home,taking it for granted that they’re doing all of this on they own…For instance,saying Hello and Goodby,them are 2 words that we all take for granted as well as Goodmorning and Goodnight…All i’m saying,when you wake up,thank him,before you lay down thank him…Just stop nagging on wee things and focus on whatever situation that you’re going throught and make it better…
Yes,you no the people in the world are so selfish that they forgot what they have don’t belong to them,that they forget to get down on their knees and thank God,for the luxury and pleasure that they have while they’re passing throught this great land on their way home,taking it for granted that they’re doing all of this on they own…For instance,saying Hello and Goodby,them are 2 words that we all take for granted as well as Goodmorning and Goodnight…All i’m saying,when you wake up,thank him,before you lay down thank him…Just stop nagging on wee things and focus on whatever situation that you’re going throught and make it better…