I remember when I had a “growing pain” moment a few years ago. My dad came by the house to see how I was doing and it was hard for me to admit that I was in need. I needed gas money for the week and didn’t really want to ask him for that, but eventually I told him about it. My dad told me: “I like it when you ask me to help you, you’re my daughter.” What he said resonated with me at that moment; I had to lower my pride and go to him for help. Is God saying that same message to you?
In this singleness season, we will go through some growing, learning, and heart-tugging situations. One of the most humbling experiences that singles can face is when you go through a breakup. Besides the hurt, anger and range of emotions that many of us feel, we may get that realization that we shouldn’t have pursued that relationship in the first place. I’ve been there, having gone back to an ex after God clearly told me that that guy wasn’t my husband. After the relationship failed again I was more hurt that I had not listened to God and followed my fickle emotions instead.
I had to admit to myself and God that I was wrong and asked Him to remove any pride that would try to replace His direction for me. Talk about growing pains. When you ask for something in the will of God, He will make sure it happens, though it won’t always be comfortable for you. Let God come into your heart when it’s broken and break you free from any ties and ungodly connections to people and relationships that weren’t meant to be or hurt you more than helped you.
Psalm 124:7 reads:
“Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.” or in NLT: “We escaped like a bird from a hunter’s trap. The trap is broken, and we are free!”
Remember that Satan desires to hunt us down and kill our joy, spirit and very being because we belong to God. This can happen when we let growing pains, breakups or bad relationships keep us in a state of shame, pride and other emotions that hinder us from going to God for help. Those emotions and mindsets can silence you from praying and seeking out help from others who have your best interest at heart. The more you are in those negative feelings, the worse off you will be. The beauty of the Psalm 124 scripture is that it declares that we are free from the trap of the hunter, able to fly in freedom the way God intended for us to be.
We are freed from our past, mistakes and sin. God is our helper and His mercy and love saved us from being consumed by the enemy and from facing a tragic ending. Don’t stay in these post-breakup emotions long. Mourn and move forward knowing that God has brought you out of something to better you, even though it may not look like that right now.
If you were abused, misused, rejected, overlooked, remember that you are still here. You are a survivor and God will renew you since He brought you out of the snares. Broken emotionally, maybe even physically, we can’t let our pride keep us from communicating with God and asking for His help. This is similar to what we hear about unbelievers thinking that they have to get themselves together before they get saved. If that was the case, we wouldn’t need Jesus to clean us up; something to think about post-Easter season.
There should be no shame in getting help. We gotta come to the Father even when we’re at our worst, in our state of wrong, and allow God to restore us to our rightful place by His will and power, not our own.
Thank you soo much for this article, I read it with tears in my eyes, I am currently struggling with a situation where I’m in the middle of a divorce and found out that my estranged husband had two kids that I was completely unaware of and his family knew all along. The woman he had an affair with knew about me, we went to school together and he and her work together she was also married at the time. He and I were still in our marriage when their affair started which is evident due to the ages of their kids, she also refused to tell anybody who she was pregnant by and the only thing peolpe knew is that he was a married man with a family,Its been especially hard for me because during our marriage I always wanted more kids but he told me he didn’t and even convinced me to get my two tied and asked me to aboard our youngest child, which thank God I refused. I put up with a lot during the marriage, infidelity (with another married woman that we went to school with) and major issues with his mother because she always condoned his behavior and have him an excuse for it, when I eventually decided to file for divorce I decide to give it one last try because we did have young children, I guess he could never get over the fact that I filed so he vowed to make me pay, I had the police called on me twice in his efforts to try and make false allegations so he was able to take the kids and not pay child support, I was never arrested and thank God once we got to court the judge saw through all of the games and I have custody of my children, he even evicted the kids and I from our home last year and now in hindsight I have discovered (only 3 weeks ago) that it was due to him having a whole different family, it hurts bad because my kids are really having a difficult time with processing it all and now he has chosen to introduce them to this whole new family, and did I mention our divorce is not yet finalized, I know that God has really favored me by freeing me from this mess, but the pain of betrayal is so very hard to deal with so I really appreciate this article, it has really helped me, it is still a struggle and a day by day process, I have to realize that God has really favored me, but my flesh is hurting.
Lynette, My heart goes out to you; youre courageous for even sharing this. God can and will repair and restore you. I will be praying for you and your family; keep trusting God.
Thank you soo much, that means a lot to me
This article was excellent! I went through a very painful divorce where my ex husband abandoned me and our two kids due to adultery and drug abuse. After the divorce I started dating and met a guy I thought was sincere and true. He turned out to be a liar and had impregnated another woman while we were together. At this point I decided to refrain from dating and be celibate because the situation hurt me tremendously. I just want to develop a stronger relationship to god and continue to be a great mother to my kids
Yvonne, thank you for sharing. My parents divorced when I was young, so I can understand how painful it can be for you, especially the affects on the children. I pray that you continue to grow in your relationship with God and find full contentment and peace in Him than anything else. God is a keeper and He will surely keep you.
Love this aricle,am going through a lot right now,infact am close to God and keep praying for his mercy over me.the man I truly love betrayed me,thought he loves me the way I do but was mistaken,he abondoned me and his daughter without asking my hand in marriage.I was so ashame of myself and hurt,I still found myself in my parents house.to trust any man now is so hard for me.have decided to be myself till God show me the way cause don’t wanna face this kind of pain no more.
Thanks so much for this post. I’m passing through a breakup at the moment with a guy I was into a relationship for 4years. He choosed someone over me after I got to know that he cheated. I truly loved him but right now I choose to remain strong, take my head up high and rely solely on Christ.