Eat what’s on your plate. You are not eating cereal. You cannot have a sandwich. Either eat what I cooked or don’t eat at all.
Do those words sound familiar? My mama only had to say them a few times for me and my brothers to realize she was serious. Nowadays parents put two or three different meals on the table just to satisfy everybody’s taste. When my 6-year-old tried to convince me to do the same because she didn’t like the chicken and rice I made, even though she hadn’t tasted it, I was tempted to allow her to eat cereal for dinner. But then my good sense kicked in. Ain’t no way she’s eating cereal after I slaved over a stove to cook her a hot dinner. More importantly, she has to learn that she can’t get what she wants all of the time. Either she eats what is on her plate or she doesn’t eat at all.
It sounds harsh, but this is a life lesson that will serve her good even as an adult, especially as a married adult.
When you marry, you don’t have the option of taste-testing relationships anymore. Instead, you must work on being grateful for the spouse you have and do everything you can to enjoy your relationship together. Even when you are mad at each other, you can’t place an order for a different spouse. Even when times get difficult, you must sit at the table together to work things out. Marriage is not a buffet where you pick and choose what you like and how much of it you want. In marriage, either you eat what’s on your plate or you don’t eat at all. At least that’s how it should be.
For the singles, before you say “I Do,” ask yourself if you are willing to eat off of the plate that your potential spouse brings to the table. Will you sit at the table with this person ““for life””and digest the good and the bad until death parts you? Will you eat with him/her or not eat at all?
For married couples, have you sat down with your spouse to evaluate what is on your plate? Are the two of you even sitting at the same table eating the same meal, or has someone left the restaurant?
Recently, when I took all the options off of the table and ordered my daughter to eat the chicken and rice on her plate, she realized that she did like what I had prepared. After the first bite, she looked at me, smiled, and exclaimed, “Mmmm. . . this is good, mommy. You are the best cooker in the world.”
The same can happen when you give your marriage a try. When times get hard, when feelings are hurt, when life gets hectic, don’t look to someone else or to something else to make you feel good. Look to your spouse. Sit at the table together and commit to eating what’s on your plate. I guarantee there is nothing or no one that tastes as good as the love a committed husband and wife share.
BMWK family, what other lessons did you learn as a child that help you now as an adult?
Salena Tucker says
Love this, thanks. So many people seems so self-indulgent, its hard to get people to accept that they need to make an effort to love the one they chose to marry. Great lesson.
Dr. Michelle Johnson says
Thanks Salena. Great word choice – “self-indulgent.” There’s no room for that in marriage!
Jacquefull says
I have to say this is good stuff I was just talking about this the other day I think a lot of us lack that unconditional love that marriage requires and right now I’m realizing for myself I need to work on that because if there was “someone” else on the menu I would just be bringing old baggage into a new relationship and besides that I signed up for the worse as well as the better…and even though we are not vibing well right now I am going to choose to work on this thing we have too many years invested in tithis. Thanks for this really needed it
Dr. Michelle Johnson says
Now, just from your comment, it was worth writing this!! Wishing you the best. Hang in there.