Over the weekend, I was blessed to visit Miami to co-host an event on purity and waiting ’til marriage with fellow blogger and minister Myrlande Desulme (iwaitedblog.com). It was a great event, but one of the things that stood out to me the most was the feedback. These ladies desired to have more gatherings and resources for women of God who are waiting and need encouragement.
This made me consider the several people who we as singles will need in our lives to help us not only navigate our single season successfully but also prepare for a successful marriage whenever that is to come. Here are at least four types of people to have in your personal life in this season:
Your spiritual parent plays a different role from your natural parent, but they can often be the same person. A spiritual parent is a leader in your life to help disciple you and mentor you to become stronger in your faith walk.
A spiritual mother and father can also impart the wisdom to be a woman or man of God with integrity and a pure heart for the Lord. For instance, my spiritual mother has imparted in me the need to operate in the spirit of excellence, which includes doing things early, being gracious, being prepared and more. Your everyday life sends a message to people, and the key is to point others to Christ.
Opposite Sex Friendship
This area is constantly debated, but I believe it’s important to have quality friends or at least acquaintances of the opposite sex. How will you understand what women or men want unless you get to know them? Join a group like a singles ministry or another coed group, which helps develop friendly relationships between people.
And friendships can be just that. You don’t have to go into a friendship with someone of the opposite sex to pursue a relationship with them, especially if that’s not your intention.
You should have the perspective of healthy-minded men and women, who can help you communicate with the opposite sex effectively, so, in turn, you’ll be more prepared in your dating and courting season.
The male friendships in my life have definitely practiced my patience! Men and women are different without a doubt, but having platonic friendships will help you understand them better and shake any stereotypes you might have carried in your heart over the years.
Happily married couple
Having a happily married couple in your squad is vital for understanding marriage, especially if you haven’t seen one in your life growing up. They can be a couple who can give you an honest look at marriage, answer any questions that you may have and more. We often see the beautiful side of marriage on social media or in small talk at church, but getting to know a married couple who’s willing to share that marriage takes work will help you remove any expectations that could harm your future relationship and marriage. Learning from married women and men have helped me slow down my desire to marry and understand the responsibility in the ministry of marriage.
Like minded singles
Last but not least, you need singles in your life, who have the same goals and mindset as you. Just as we heard over the weekend, it’s hard when you’re waiting ’til marriage and you don’t have friends who are doing the same. Be intentional about spending time with other singles who are going after the same things as you, even if they are in other ministries. That connection can lead to new opportunities to work together and meet new people.
Being with like-minded singles also helps you be more open with what you’re dealing with, so you have the support and encouragement you need to keep going in your single season. I’m part of a few groups, and I love how we can be open with each other about what we are going through, and they understand without judgement.
From ministry to meetup groups, surround yourself with people who accept you and want to see you succeed in life. Each person you have on your team should serve a purpose, even if only for a season. God is invested in seeing that you fulfill your destiny! If you don’t see what you’re looking for yet, pray on it and allow God to bring people your way—for “many advisers bring success.” Proverbs 15:22.
BMWK, who has been most helpful to you on your single journey?