When I say the words, “Proverbs 31 wife,” most people, especially married folk, know what I’m talking about. A Proverbs 31 wife is the true definition of the “trophy wife.” She is a woman her husband can be proud to call his own, and as the Bible passage says, “she is more precious than rubies” and surpasses all women. But what should her husband look like? Well, Ephesians 5 gives us a clue.
How to Be an Ephesians 5 Husband for Your Proverbs 31 Wife
In this article:
- Give yourself up for her
- Keep her clean
- Help to reveal her beauty
- Love her as you love yourself
- Get as close to her as possible
For many women familiar with the passage, and those who’ve received counsel from women more seasoned in marriage, it becomes something they desire and strive towards. But what about her husband?
Having a true Proverbs 31 wife would be amazing. But it seems incomplete.
What kind of husband would be the perfect match for the Proverbs 31 wife? Where is the manual, the blueprint for a man like this?
The perfect man for the Proverbs 31 wife is the Ephesians 5 husband. Like the woman in Proverbs, this brotha has it going on. But, I’m guessing that unless you are a serious Bible reader, you may not be as familiar with Ephesians 5 as you are with the passage in Proverbs. Well, if you want to be an Ephesians 5 man, here’s what you should do:
Give yourself up for her
Marriage can be seen as one big journey from selfishness to selflessness. An Ephesians 5 husband will give up everything he has in order to make sure his wife has what she needs. No matter how big the sacrifice, meeting her needs becomes his priority.
Keep her clean
My wife was dealing with a troubling situation the other day, and I told her “I’m willing to be the bad guy.” Basically, I was saying put it all on me. I’ll get as dirty as I have to in order to keep you clean. Helping her character remain clean is important, and I’ve found the best way to do this is by learning and living according to the Bible.
Help to reveal her beauty
Ephesians 5 calls husbands to “present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle.” Our charge is not to dog our wives, or point out their shortcomings, but to do all we can to reveal the true beauty we see inside her. My bible readers know the “church” has some issues, but Christ sees something different. Just the same our wives have some issues, but we are to see and reveal her beauty.
Love her as you love yourself
Most people treat themselves better than they treat others. We make exceptions for the same mistakes we condemn in other people. But with our wives, if we are to be Ephesians 5 husbands, we should love and treat her the same way we do ourselves. Ephesians 5 husbands treat their wives with the utmost care and concern.
Get as close to her as possible
If you have your Bible out now and are reading along, you’ll see the next call to an Ephesians 5 husband is to become one with your wife. The Bible actually says “one flesh.” That means to become closer to her than anybody or anything else on this earth. Even if it means separating from other people or things that come against your union. Once you become one, nothing can keep you apart.
BMWK – Men, are you being an Ephesians 5 husband for your Proverbs 31 wife? Ladies, how is your man doing.
Up Next: 5 Ways to R-E-S-P-E-C-T Your Wife
Editor’s Note – This post was originally published on December 12, 2013, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
Nice post. Short and sweet. I will have to post this on our marriage website and give you the honor. Thanks!
Thanks, Pamela! I’m glad you enjoyed it and plan to share it. I’d love to join you on your podcast to talk more about it. And if you are interested, I’d also like to have someone from your site guest post on my new podcast.
Love It! Amen 🙂
Thanks, Cynthia!
Love it keep up great work of God i loving learning more about god what he say about marriage
Vivian, thanks for reading and your encouraging comment!
Hallelujiah and Amen this is a wonderful post so glad you took the time to research and share the scriptures. It gives our husbands good & Godly examples to follow as well as us wives to continue striving to be that Proverbs 31 women that our husbands trust, love, & admire. God Bless & Happy Holidays
Blessings to you too, Linda! Thanks for reading and your very encouraging comment!
Good stuff. However, it says nothing about when a wife makes it difficult for the man to do this. I know for a Christian man to love his wife, it should not to be conditional, but it gets difficult when all you get back for trying to be an Ephesians 5 husband is selfishness and self-centeredness. You work toward making her your best friend and her mum and sisters remain her closest confidantes. You give all you earn to support the family and she stashes her money and make big ticket purchases, like property, behind your back. It gets real tough. God help all brothers in such relationships.
Prayed for you Aaron. Being an Ephesians 5 husband is not easy, and neither is being a Proverbs 31 wife. I am rooting for your marriage! Thanks for sharing.
I’m sorry Aaron that you are going through this. Thats truly not normal behavior for any wife, saved or unsaved. My marriage is not perfect but I’ve always tried to get my husband to be my best friend and confidante, which he always seems to resist. I also personally try to plan purchases with him but it never seems like he’s trying to build for our family and future like I am. I even tried to get him to learn about the Eph. 5 man, he didnt seem that interested. I think the only solution is prayer even though its difficult.
Awesome article Jackie. Your title captured me as I was on fbook and I had to find out and read more. Keep sharing your gifts with us, much appreciated. Read and shared with my wifey…
My pleasure!
Interesting. Very interesting.
I’m one of those people who believe in God because I was raised that way and I can’t seem to be any other way, I’m also white and engaged not married. She a wonderful woman of a similar background. being raised a christian and having spent a considerable amount of time both as a child and as an adult attending church and thoroughly studying both the old and new testament I applaud you. I stumbled upon the article during a conversation my fiancee and I were having, Our banter occasionally refers to a biblical passage and this time in jest she brought up proverbs 31 so I challenged her to quote it meanwhile I went about searching for the male equivalent and found this. It’s a great article for any audience. I particularly enjoyed the section titled, ” Keep Her Clean” but the fact that you acknowledged that “Most people treat themselves better than they treat others. We make exceptions for the same mistakes we condemn in other people.” Is something I hear alluded to in meaningless inspirational speeches given by Christians and non-Christians alike, Usually shortly before condemning others. I have always said that our sin looks much worse on other people then it does on us. You say it much more eloquent and strait forward way.
Thanks,
Aaron, above, has made a strong comment. It’s always tough when the love is perceived to be one-sided. I am striving for moderation in my believe. The best husband ever once had the worst wife never! Cf. Jerimiah chapter 2: God (husband) vs Israel (wife).
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Awesome article Jackie! I read your other article “7 Rings of Marriage” and emailed that article to myself too. Great wisdom for married and single Believers, alike. Please keep allowing the Holy Spirit to minister through you. I am not married yet, but pray continuously that whomever he is, I become the wife that my husband needs and God has called me to be for my husband and that he will be the husband that I need and God has called him to be for me.
Stacey
Thanks, Stacey! I agreed with you in prayer. Blessings to you!
Great Article. God has laid out the responsibilities of a man and woman in both of these two scriptures that were mentioned in this article. Many women look over their responsibilities to a man and want the Ephesian 5 man but they are not deserving of him until she becomes the Proverbs 31 woman first. An Ephesians 5 man is not a good fit for a woman that is not a Proverbs 31 woman and vice versa. If the man or woman is not truly living the life of Proverbs 31 or Ephesians 5, these benefits do not apply to you. You have to follow Gods word and his role for each respective person in a marriage or that union will not be blessed by God. There is a reason why so many marriages are failing these days, you have to follow God’s plan and role that is outline for each person to have a successful and blessed union.
I love this article. It will help me in our couples class
to get the men to really see how we should be to our wife’s
Awesome article, really. Would I digress and say that I feel like Job 31 man seems like the “equivalent” of the Proverbs 31 woman? Just thoughts. Loved your article. A lot. God bless
Please clarify for me, is Proverbs 31 actually to the man and is connected or referenced from 1 Corinthians? where it speaks of the wife being the glory of her husband? Thank you and God Bless