Lately I have been running into a few people saying the same thing, and I decided to bring it to the BMWK family for further investigation. “Is the Bible still relevant for marriages today?”
A few weeks ago a woman from one of the largest Christian family ministries was sharing with me that a seminary professor told her it would be impossible to live married according to the Bible. Specifically, it was that a man could not lead his family and still be a man according to the Bible.
I raise the question because so often we hear that there is this great benefit in going to church together, praying, reading and studying the Bible together. But yet it seems that there are many, like the seminary professor, that feel that the principles of the Bible aren’t “realistic” for our marriages today.
Of course culturally there are huge differences. There are instances where first cousins are married to each other, or one man is married to more than one woman, along with a host of other situations that just would not happen today. However, even in these culturally different scenarios, is it still possible to find relevant solutions for our marriages today?
Personally, I find no greater resource than the Bible. While the culture is very different, they walk or rode camels instead of cars, and there was neither the Internet, social media nor smart phones, but still I believe at the core of the message of the Bible and the couples captured in the Bible, there is wisdom for today.
In my own marriage, we have seen how God has spoken to us, not so much in a audible booming voice from heaven. But through the examples of marriages that have endured, there are some of the same core concerns of communication or trust that my marriage has. Through principles like having the mind of Christ or loving each other like we love ourselves, we have gained a stronger marriage.
Reading and applying the Bible has provided insight in to how we think both individually and as a couple. Recently, we have been challenged by two biblical couples, Chuza and Joanna and Aquilla and Priscilla, to be more conscious to look for ways to make a difference in the lives of others through our marriage. Sure, there are books and other sources that could have brought this to mind. However, there is something so powerful about the instruction and direction gained from being aligned with the truths of the Bible that can not be duplicated.
What about you BMWK family””is the Bible still relevant to your marriage?
It’s VERY relevant. VERY.
The Bible is very relevant to marriages, self, other’s, life. To think otherwise, you may as well spit in the face of God with the other’s who crucified Him. Not making this a religious moment. A book called “every man’s battle – winning the war on sexual temptation”…there is a statement made about stopping short of God’s standards, mixing our comfort zone and His standards and going for excellence instead of obedience and perfection. Excellence was explained in this way…”businesses can be perfect but it is too costly so they shoot for excellence or surface perfection. It seems like they are on point but there are flaws, short cuts, short comings in their practices that may go unnoticed by the customer.” This made me really think about our state of mind versus His. Judgement will be absolute, pretty sure no gray areas there. So again, yes the Bible is relevant and we need to practice until perfection of its truths. Be blessed.
You can take lessons from any good book. The bible is not particularly more relevant than any other book.
I believe you are so wrong without the bible where would society get their values from. Our society was build on biblical principles and because in modern times society have has gone on a down in slide and many of the problems encountered today in society, lawlessness, immorality, divorces, single parent families, drugs and alcohol that is tearing our society, sexual immorality, etc has been because society has chosen to not to adhere to Gods words.
I believe you are so wrong without the bible where would society get their values from. Our society was build on biblical principles and because in modern times society have has gone on a down in slide and many of the problems encountered today in society, lawlessness, immorality, divorces, single parent families, drugs and alcohol that is tearing our society, sexual immorality, etc has been because society has chosen to not to adhere to Gods words.
Ed I always say that the bible is for bible believing people. This means that it is bible believing people who will attempt to live by its precepts. For me, the bible is the authority on marriage as it is for ALL things. Now for those folks who choose to believe otherwise they can believe this, every husband and wife is going to submit to somebody’s principles – what they learned under momma, didn’t learn under daddy, or what the media or worldly view teaches. This may very well cause them to be caught in the grip of a spouses’ stubborness, insolence or their plain nonsense.
No matter what, you either are live your marriage under the relevancy of God’s mandates or man’s mandates. The choice belongs to you!
http://www.ruleyourwife316.com
Ed, check out this article I wrote some time ago on the same subject matter. Here’s the link: https://www.blackloveandmarriage.com/2011/01/are-biblical-precepts-relevant-in-modern-day-marriages/
I believe that the Bible is relevant to Christians who want to have a biblical marriage. I think sometimes we get confused in thinking that just because two people are married that God is in that marriage. The Bible is relative to so many aspects of our lives.
I don’t think people realize we don’t have to follow every single letter and word in the Bible. It’s the lessons you take from it, the principles, the characters you learn from. Obviously, with the times come changes in society and in lifestyle. But the values and the lessons remain the same. The Bible is very relevant in our marriage, and is actually going to become even more so. It’s our lifeline for sure.
I find it impossible to separate the way I think about my marriage from what marriage has been called to be per the Word of God. I don’t think it is possible to have a perfect marriage by biblical standards (there is no such thing as a perfect marriage), but I truly believe that the bible gives Christian couples a standard to which we should aspire.
I would hate to be under the seminary professor who is teaching something like this. If he gets into a debate on the subject, he would be disgraced.
I know right! I would not want to take a class from him – regardless of the subject
Relevant it is…God created marriage…it is His Book…sooooo I think He should know…;-)
I don’t get this question. Not if you’re family isn’t Christian, I guess…and not every BMWC family is…Christian, that is.
Aboslutley the bible is relevant to marriages. It teaches us how to submit to each other and how to put our spouse’s needs above our own. I’m glad that my husband and I are Christian believers and are following the BIBLE-Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
Many books, philosophies, etc. are relevant in my marriage as we use different lessons and apply them to the situation that best benefits from the example. I also would like to clarify that the bible is not the “word” of “God”, although it is a historical book, this specific book is not the only way/path to spirituality. People reach enlightenment, peace and blissfulness via many other sources.
I say yes the Bible is relevant. Also any other Holy book where God/Allah/Jehovah=God is the center and reference for and base of the love in your marriage.
Belief is extremely powerful and when challenged, it is like teasing a hungry lion with prey: It will get attacked!!
Most seminary professors know things that the average Bible believer will find disheartening especially if they truly study Old Testament history. Why? It will challenge their current belief structure. Trust me, Ive been there and been disturbed. But now Im more clearer than ever that the Bible is a book of guiding principles that can enhance your life and your marriage if this is your approach.
I will go on record and say that most professors do not believe the current interpretation as presented today and I have been under such professors. The way ministers use scriptures especially in the Black church will NOT get you a passing grade in Bible college because of out of context quotes. You see, text much be in context to the entire book and relevant to subject to obtain a passing grade.
When you go to any mega church and listen to the minister, what you will hear is a life coach who sprinkle scriptures here and there and tell stories to support concepts. I do not have a problem with this but know that in my relationship coaching practice, I see more die-hearted Bible believing couples with marital problems than anywhere.
Why? I believe that the Bible will Not teach you all of the principles and disciplines in creating a successful marriage today. However, it can be used as leverage to help couples aligned to something greater than themselves especially when in conflict. It is still a good book but must be used along with others for a balanced life.
Coach Phil Turner Jr.
https://philturnerjr.com
Coach Phil – I think we have to be careful of lumping all mega churches into the same pot – that’s the minister side of me talking, LOL. Because there are some good ones out there, that offer much more than stories to support a concept. I do think that the answer for every problem a couple can face is found in the Bible. That is why I found that seminary professors statements so interesting. What can trump the wisdom that comes down from heaven?
You have to believe there’s a heaven in the outer space first and preachers do exactly that. Ice been to many churches and they all claim to be different, but they seen at all. It’s to hard for me to sit thru the bs now, so my conclusion about black churches is this.
Hi Anonymous, I understand your point and beliefs. I just know that my practice is filled with clients (many pastors) expressing the same things as you have expressed and their marriage is falling apart. Why? Matching principles with how-to skills. Show me in the Bible where it teaches you how to resolve communication styles? How to elicit conflicting values, understand double binds and cross generational alliances…..The Bible provides guiding principles but silent on many how-to do’s. I am extremely open to see it in a different manner and would love to have you address this perspective.
Phil, I would respectfully disagree that the Bible only provides guiding principles, and doesn’t provide specifics. I use the 60 marriages of the Bible exclusively in my marriage education classes and conferences and I haven’t found a situation yet that the marriages of the Bible didn’t have wisdom for. From communication to trust, intimacy, infidelity and finances there are biblical couples that have experienced the same things we go through.
Hi Edward, I would love to see your presentation. I’ve seen many and would ask that when you do, can you point to the exact scripture and make it within context of the Bible. Or are you providing an interpretation based on opinions or others interpretations? This is what I see in all of the presentations in the past because when challenged it has never held up. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in the Bible, however, I respectfully disagree that you will NOT be adding life skills principles learned outside of scripture to your presentation. It will NOT be directly from scripture but YOUR interpretation of it; this has been my discovery.
From the article: “Personally, I find no greater resource than the Bible. While the culture
is very different, they walk or rode camels instead of cars, and there
was neither the Internet, social media nor smart phones, but still I
believe at the core of the message of the Bible and the couples captured
in the Bible, there is wisdom for today.”
The Biblical culture also approved of very young wives, forced women to marry their rapist (Deuteronomy 22:28-29 NIV), stoned a woman if she turned out not to be a virgin on her wedding night (or if a women had a broken hymen and could not “bleed” on her wedding night) (Deuteronomy 22:20-21), allowed a men to have more than one wife (Exodus 21:10), and dictated that a widow marry her husband’s brother, whether she wanted to or not, for the sole purpose of procreation (Deuteronomy 25:5-6). In my opinion, when someone says that they strive to follow “the core message of the Bible,” they are saying that because they find alot of the actually practices in the Bible to be distasteful. So, fathers, unless you are willing to stone your daughters if they are not virgins on their wedding night, or, wives, marry your late husband’s brother if you are childless, you are just picking and choosing which parts of the Bible you want to follow, and are choosing to leave the rest behind.
The Bible is very relevant to today’s marriages. It is not impossible to live a married life according to God’s plan. God only wants what is best for all of us.
YES POINT BLANK, GOD CREATED MARRIAGE, HE IS THE ONE WHO SET THE STANDARD FOR MARRIAGE IN THE BIBLE.
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Cheers