The fatherhood instinct is real. To look upon your offspring and see yourself in their face, in their expressions, in their actions, and ultimately in their interpretation of the world is a daunting thing to come face to face with – every single day.
And that’s why true fatherhood is done with every interaction a father is lucky enough to have with their children.
If you cannot share a physical space with your child, the impact of a presence not felt is just not in your child. You are missing an inherent part of your developing psyche as a man as well.
The consistent responsibility and care for a helpless human being brought into the world in direct relation to your actions and decisions, no matter how intentional or ill advised is a constant reminder to you that your actions have clear and long standing consequences.
The reminder of fatherhood makes a man judge his actions more judiciously in all things. And it should. For many men, the true acceptance of their role as a father allows them to switch their interaction with the world from reactive to proactive – from incidental to intentional. He knows his decisions today will directly impact his children for years to come.
And as a father, if your goal is to support, provide, keep safe, secure, and release another productive contributing member of society to carry to your name, then its at this juncture in your life that the boy truly begins to become a man.
So for the fathers out there struggling through the transition, keep up the good fight. This is parenthood. Your struggle is sure to continue day in and day out for years. It will always be worth it.
For the fathers not around their children, I have no place to speak on your situation, because I don’t know it. But if the separation is by your choice, you need to reconsider establishing this intimate connection. Time waits for no one.
BMWK, Two questions to ask yourself – What kind of man do you want to become? What kind of man are you becoming?
Fatherhood should change you, if you’re so lucky.