I love my husband. I love my kids. I have a job that I like as much as I could ever like work.
But as much as I love my life, sometimes I’m a little grumpy. Sometimes my mood is downright”...stank. Sometimes the kids are bothering me. Sometimes my workdays are bad. Some days I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed.
One of the benefits of being single was that after work, my bad mood and I could go home alone, crawl into bed with ice cream (or wine) and I could enjoy the company of my own misery until the feeling passed.
Unfortunately, marriage is not the anecdote for curing the occasional bad mood. As a married woman I no longer have the luxury of doing my own thing until I’m back to my old cheerful self. I still have a husband and a couple kids to contend with, and while I’m human and therefore will have bad days here and there, I also don’t want to say or do something I’ll regret later just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
I’ve put together a list of five ways to manage your bad mood while keeping your marriage intact. Feel free to add to it with your own tips in the comments section.
1) Figure out why your mood is bad
Is a specific incident causing you to feel less than cheerful or is it just a generally foul feeling that came out of nowhere. Maybe related to the weather? Hormones? Pinpointing the reason behind your moodiness may help you to get it under control. (Sidebar: I hate being told that I must either a) have PMS or b) be pregnant- can a woman not just be hungry with an attitude sometimes!)
2) Acknowledge your bad mood out loud
The only thing worse than dealing with someone who’s in a bad mood is dealing with someone who won’t acknowledge that they’re in a bad mood. Let your spouse know what you’re feeling instead of walking around being huffy.
3) Ask for what you need
Do you need a couple hours alone to sulk? A hug or a listening ear? A jog around the block? Let your spouse know what it is you need to get the gloom out of your system.
4) Follow through
If you asked for time to relax, don’t then spend the time cleaning the bathroom or taking out trash. Actually do what you need to do to feel better.
5) Thank your spouse and return to the world
Express your gratitude to your spouse for understanding and helping you get back to being Mr. or Mrs. Sunshine.
And remember, while we’re all entitled to a little bit of moodiness, feeling crappy every day is a problem. If you find your bad moods to be more frequent or becoming harder to get out of, contact a doctor to find out whether your mood changes may be a sign of depression or another underlying issue.
Get practical tips to keep your marriage hot even when you’re short on time at Making Love in the Microwave.
This is so very helpful, I thought I was the only one who had a great life with my husband and son, really they are great, and just some days I’m not feeling it. I can get grumpy out of nowhere and have always had a bit of an attitude problem but it has gotten better and usually can be fixed by getting some alone time just for me to sulk it out. These are all great suggestions that I will be putting to good use, great article!
Thanks Chrissy. Its important to remember that just because we’re married doesn’t mean we aren’t human! It’s ok to have grumpy days here and there, it’s getting through them that matters.
Thank you. This is a great post! It makes me think more about how my actions may affect my family and others, even if it wasn’t intentional.
This was right on time for me. I’ve been grumpy all week, mainly at hubby. I hate to say it but he’s been down right annoying me this week, either with things he says, does, or doesn’t do. I’m having a hard time communicating my issues with him, so I’m sure I come off stank. Pray for us for sure.
Had one of those days on Wednesday. Sometimes all I need is a good night sleep. Everything seems brighter and more hopeful in the morning. Thanks for your tips!
Great post! It feels good to be validated that I have taken the right steps and that I’m not creazy for having bad moods at times…just human. Thanks 🙂
Like the flu, prevention is the best medicine. I have set the bar so high on what can bring down my mood, a pity party for me is the hardest event in town to get a ticket to.
If you’re not causing me physical pain, or costing me hundreds of dollars, you are going to find me in a good mood. 🙂
Very helpful tips. Thanks for sharing!
First thank you for shaing as this snap shot of your life. Your solution is a source of support and validation for all who have been in a bad mood at somepoint in our relationshps. It is nice to hear how you and your husband have found a way to coop. I was looking forward to hearing how you help your children coop as well. Maybe you can follow up with that?
Thanks DJ. That sounds like a great part two to this article. Thanks for the tip and stay tuned!
Thank you for the great post. Its crucial to keep your moods in check with a family because their emotions feed off yours without you realizing it.)
i truly believe my mood changes when my wife don’t give me sex!!
i truly believe my mood changes when my wife don’t give me sex!! Should i go elsewhere?