We have another free giveaway but this time from someone special. The host of Divorce Court, Judge Lynn Toler who was kind enough to provide us with a guest blog a few weeks back has now provided 10 copies of her wonderful book, “My Mother’s Rules: A Practical Guide to Becoming an Emotional Genius” for us to giveaway to our readers.
Here are details on the book:
Lynn Toler was, if anything, an achiever. At thirty-three, after Harvard, Penn Law School, and a decade as a successful lawyer, she was elected to a municipal judgeship-a black woman in a mostly white community, where the opposing party held a 5:1 majority. Once on the bench, responsible for adjudicating the countless minor squabbles and foibles to be found among her town’s residents, she realized that the teachings of one person in particular helped her when dealing with those offenders. That person was her mother, a woman who possessed remarkable grace, strength, and simple insight.
Toni Toler’s “rules” for life were forged in growing up the daughter of a poor teen mother, and through a long marriage to a husband who suffered mental illness and alcoholism. The story of how she transcended these circumstances, and raised Lynn and her equally successful sister, provide the grounding for Lynn’s story of her life, her family, and her career. The worldview that shaped these rules is based on learning how to conquer anger and become immune to insult. Lynn shows how the mindset of “a black woman who knew how to make things work” taught her the power of knowing how to manage one’s emotional business-lessons that this book offers in wrenching stories written in spare and graceful prose. My Mother’s Rules is an unforgettable memoir that will captivate readers with its illustrations of how to rise above the most difficult circumstances and find peace and success in life.
 Lynn Toler, a veteran municipal court judge from Cleveland Heights, Ohio, is now the star of the syndicated TV show Divorce Court. She lives in Cleveland with her husband and sons.
All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post telling us why you liked the guest post Judge Toler did for us here at Black and Married With Kids. If you haven’t seen it yet or need a refresher click here to check it out. Make sure you enter an email address in the email box so we’ll have a way to contact you if you win. Winners will be selected at random and announced on Thursday morning.
Also don’t forget to support our favorite judge on her hit TV show. The 10th Season of DIVORCE COURT will premiere on September 8th, you can go to www.divorcecourt.com to find out where and when the show airs in their market.
Anonymous says
I just want to let you know how i really enjoyed Judge Tolers post because she was true to her self, her message is always the same, that is to help and educate through her life experiences and knowledge. I am praying that i will win a book and that it is signed. Judge Toler rocks and so does BMWK.
Meka says
I enjoyed Judge Toler’s post, because I can relate to her message. I am working to stop overbooking myself. I have to work very hard to stop the urge to help any and every one, but myself.
BMWK is a great site!! The information I receive from you is very positive and uplifting. It is very nice to have people who I can relate with on many levels.
Mrs. D says
I admire Judge Toler because with her success, she is still down to earth and always keeping things real. Some of us have the tendency to pretend that we have perfect lives because we are “successful” by the world’s standards. Judge Toler is transparent and I really admire how she is able to convey serious messages sometimes with humor and/or grace. For me, she is an example of a strong woman.
MsLadyR says
I liked the post she wrote because basically it was just real. Sometimes we take on too much and knowing how to lighten up your plate is so important for our health and our relationships.
micaela6955 (Michele P.) says
I like the fact that she takes time to herself, with her busy home and work life, it is something that she gets very little of-and realizing this and making time for me is and important thing in everyone’s lives. It gives you the chance to reflect back on your day, think about your future, or not think at all, and just relax and de-stress.
micaela6955 at msn dot com
Anna says
I appreciate Judge Toler but appreciate the name of the book “My Mothers Rules”. If we can learn the lessons our mothers are trying to teach/tell us(no matter how long we get to spend with them on earth) and share this in a book for others, just goes to show her respect and appreciation towards her mother. I have paid my kids off in advance not to write a “Mommy Dearest ” book post mortum. LOL.. This book sounds like a must read for all. I am an avid reader. It takes you away. I feel myself in the “moment” of the pages I am reading. I honestly can’t imagine being illiterate(I sure hope I spelled that word right) LOL. . My youngest goes back to college for her sophomore year next week. I have always wanted to be a teacher(I know moms are teachers and cooks and nurses etc.) I need a hobby. I have been debating for a few years to sign up with my local library to teach an adult how to read.
I can’t remember how many kids I taught how to drive. Only two did not pass the first time, but none of them wrecked my car and they also used my car for the road test to acquire a drivers license.
I guess my New Years Resolution is to teach an adult to read. It is never to early to plan ahead. I just hope I did not plan too far ahead paying my kids off for not writing the “Mommy Dearest” book too soon ,it will come to bite me in the butt or if they decide to redo the deal or want to keep me on my retainer money. Ha. Ha. In all honesty I have been told I am a great mother. If my kids have any bad things to say about me, it would be how I may have treated any kid in the few neighhoods we lived in more special then them. My kids have a two parent home. Not all kids are that blessed. I really do hope that if my kids write a note or a book about me it would read, ” We had the opportunity to share our mom with our friends and the neighborhood kids and our mom loved us all”.
elle denise says
I loved how she was very open & candid about Marriage & family life. She gave real life examples that we can all (even those of us that aren’t married yet) relate to. I’m glad she was able to share this information with us… I love her ‘24/7 mommy will do it bit. I feel that way sometimes & I don’t have children (but I do assist others, more than I probably should… I’m a border-line enabler!)
Going forward, “pretend that Im not here.” is my new phrase (LOL)
Smooth says
I like how Judge Toler gave real examples of what she deals with and how she handles it. A lot of times Celebrities aren’t real enough.
MorningDove says
She gave the same type of excellent advice that she does on her show. She basically kept it real and that’s what I love about her on BMWK and on Divorce Court.
key-2-life says
I agree with Smooth! She always keep it real!
The Bunny says
Like elle denise said, I think she gave great real life advice even for those of us who aren’t married yet.
Tracey says
I just love Judge,Lynn Toler,she is smart and pretty.She is down to earth and oh my God so wise. I watch her all the time and the advice she gives is to live by. I respect her so much.
Bessie Bowser says
Judge Lynn is a wonderful, beautiful, and sincere person. She was a great guest for BMWK. My hat is off to her because I can feel her spirit in wanting to keep peace and hold things together with her family. Sometimes our heart and emotions get in the way when it comes to our natural instincts. Our natural instincts tell us that we are in this family together and we have checks and balances. But, unfortuately, if a man has not been taught by his mother that there is no discrimination of sexes in the household, then they know that, if mom is not home by a certain time, you start dinner, etc. What we all, as women, have to due is conquer our fears and recognize that we don’t need to settle for the “antique man.” I said that to say this….In these times that everyone want or need to work outside the house, we shouldn’t have to ask our husbands to pick up a broom or mop, take care of the children, prepare meals, etc. I don’t know what type of work Judge Lynn’s husband does, but if she had to ask him to do anything, I know she would not ask if he was already overwhelmed with duties and responsibilities at the time she ask. We love so hard that we began a relationship by doing everything for the man. My mother use to tell me that, “You should always start out with how you want thing to be and end up, because it is really a challenge to try and change a situation or person once they are so use to things as it is. They get upset, have attitudes, argue, etc.” Like the saying goes, “It hard to teach an old dog new tricks.” This is just a figure of speech. I am sure that Judge Lynn’s husband is a good man. And to be frank, I must say that both of them is the cause of the situation at hand. But, if her husband can’t see that he need to step up to the plate after all of the facts, then he is definitely wrong. Whatever is done, need to be done in a way of enjoyment as long as it is for the happiness of the family.
Cheryl Madison says
Dear Judge, January 15, 2009
Lady, you have a very good show. My comment is for men, women, husbands and wives. We are bound to have a series of problems in every and any relationship no matter what. I’m a 34 year old married women with 4 kids. These days we don’t have a gauranty with our companions. Now is just a day in time where we need to know when to say when.
When it comes to children we need to watch them and let them grow. They have a mind of their own. We just need to know what’s on their mind. There are ways to find out such as talking to them unexpectedly. If they don’t listen then find somebody they will listen to.
C. Madison***
Betty says
Much love for this successful black woman
Linda Mckisic says
I would love to have a book because she is Blessed and so real.She is someone I would love to have my girls follow and look up to.I think she is a good mentor.
Pastor David A. Houston,MPA, M.Div. says
I love this Judge plus I am hook on her show. The U.S. need more Judges like her.
Sincerely Pastor David A. Houston,MPA, M.Div.
510-635-6739
JOANN REED says
I love Judge Toler’s show. She is very sensitive and really digs to find out what is going on in the relationship that makes the parties want to divorce.
I truly believe that once a couple is divorced, they must forgive one another so they can move on and not allow the actions of the other to cause them to be bitter. I love the way Judge Toler lets couples know that they must move on with their lives. Harboring bitterness and hatred can cause physical and mental illness.
Forgiveness is the only way to truly heal. Love you Judge Toler.
Gary says
Lynne Toler is everything that a man could ever desire in a woman. Her appeal is more than exciting and her character is very motivating to women everywhere.
She’s intelligent, witty & sharp as a two edged sword, she is the epitome of the phenominal woman. Lynne you’re something special.
S Guetzloff says
i think lynn tells like it is after all she is a women and she also has a family and husband to care for . like she said when you have kids they come first i'm a single mom to a 12 year old with no help ,so i know your kids come first no matter if they're step or regular i rather hear judge lynn say they all children are your the only step and the on leading up to the stairs
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