Women often feel the pressure of having to conquer it all. As they enter into relationships and start families, they are expected to immediately morph into Mary Poppins, Florence Nightingale, Betty Crocker, and Cathy Hughes while maintaining the body and smoldering sex appeal of Beyoncé.
There are also expectations for men. They are supposed to grow up and become great husbands, fathers, providers, protectors and leaders in their homes without fear, doubt,or worry. They are expected to put on their suit of armor, win every the battle and come home with the spoils. While there are expectations for both sexes, I believe society tends to be less lenient on men, regarding their ability to conquer it all.
Contrary to popular belief, men have fears, struggle with doubt and worry about failing. A number of men have told me that one of the primary ways they define themselves as men is by their ability to take care of their families. Which means that every job loss, passed-over promotion or inability to earn income is deeply personal and serves as a blow to their manhood. As such, I have detailed three ways a woman can rescue her mate from the world and restore him.
Recognize His Efforts
Couples often forget that they are married to a person that has their own thoughts, needs and desires. They begin to think the person they are in a committed relationship with is somehow obligated to stay with them and do certain things. Reality check: this way of thinking is dangerous and can be detrimental to your relationship as it can cause us to take our partners for granted.
Ladies, you need to remember that everything your man does is a choice. He chooses to leave home and come back every day, he chooses to love you, he chooses to show up as an attentive husband and loving father every day. You must recognize your man’s efforts to take care of his family. Write him love letters often. Tell him before he leaves home and again upon returning how much you love, respect and honor his choice to work hard for his family. Speak life into him daily with affirming words. Tell him how creative, intelligent, resourceful, handsome and sexy he is. Tell him thank you for being a great husband and father daily.
Show Your Appreciation
In addition to telling your man how much you value him, show him through your actions. Turn the tables; send him to get a pedicure or better yet do it yourself. Draw him a bath, give him a massage or make him his favorite meal. Have flowers delivered to his job or get his car detailed. Give him a weekend off and hire someone to cut the grass. Allow him to watch the game or enjoy his hobby uninterrupted. Plan an evening out, yes take him out on a date. Make time to be intimate with him. Intimacy helps men to connect physically and emotionally. Ask him about his day. Create a safe space for your man to share his dreams and fears, and talk about his worries. Your actions will reinforce for him that you truly appreciate the challenges he faces daily and that you support him.
Pray for your man daily. Pray for his safety, his peace and his strength. Pray that God blesses his thoughts, covers his tongue and guides his actions.
Ladies, remember men are strong yet fragile. They need affirmation, confirmation and restoration. Make sure you provide a place for him to love and be loved, feel supported, needed and desired. Be the inspiration and motivation he needs to face the challenges he is presented with each day.
BMWK, are you being the blessing that your mate needs you to be?