Tara Pringle Jefferson is a freelance writer from Ohio, where she lives with her husband and two kids. Visit her blog, TheYoungMommyLife.com, for daily musings about the issues young moms face.
I wish I knew”...
1. How much I would worry about finances. Pre-baby, when my bank account balance was nearing zero I knew I could always scrape by, perhaps skip a meal or two, and I’d survive. Now? There’s no getting around a lack of cash. Something always needs to be purchased. Kids poop, so they need diapers. They need to be fed, so you buy baby food. There’s no such thing as making the kids skip a few meals to make it to payday. It just can’t happen.
2. Babies don’t cry because they want to aggravate you. Babies cry because they can’t talk. Once I understood this, motherhood became a heck of a lot easier.
3. Babies are kind of boring. I can hear the moms screaming now, “Babies aren’t boring! They’re gifts from God and brighten your life and make you feel whole and blah blah blah.” Babies are cute, I’ll give you that. But they aren’t very interesting. Once you get past the coos and giggles, each day becomes “How am I going to entertain you before you have a screaming fit in my face?” You can only play peek-a-boo but for so long.
4. Using the bathroom with the door open would become a daily thing. I wish I could say I had more modesty, but I don’t.
5. Living on the second floor of an apartment building is NOT a good thing. Lugging my two babies up the stairs is a job by itself. By the time we get inside the apartment, sweat is streaming down my face and it takes me a good five minutes stretched out on the couch to catch my breath while my daughter asks me, “What’s wrong, Mommy? Mommy? You okay?”
6. How much becoming a parent changes your marriage”...in the bedroom. My husband and I used to be on each other ALL THE TIME. (Hence, having two babies between 2006 and 2008.) Now? Let’s just say the frequency has changed quite a bit. Still decent, but nowhere near the free-for-all we used to have. God bless the parents who can still keep it hot all times of the day and night.
7. That my mind would turn to Jell-O at times. I used to be brilliant. I could listen to a college lecture and spit it back at you verbatim. I never ever studied for tests in college and managed to graduate magna cum laude. I’m still smart, but I definitely have to work a lot harder if I want to make it through the day with my sanity intact.
8. That I really can’t function on four hours of sleep a night (see #7). I need my sleep. No, really. I do. My husband knows this. After learning his lesson with Baby #1, he avoided making conversation with me until Baby #2 started sleeping through the night. There was no telling what would make me snap.
9. How much I would love my kids. My babies are my air. They are the reason I’m here. I love them beyond life. I could just sit and stare at them all day.
10. Some days will be better than others. Some days will be pure torture ““ the kids won’t stop screaming, the house is a mess, your spouse is cranky, you burned dinner, etc. But then other days will be pure bliss ““ your baby said “Mama” for the first time, your husband bought you flowers for no reason, your boss complimented you for working hard. I’ve learned to embrace the bad days too. They make the good days even sweeter!
BMWK readers, what do you wish you had known before having kids?
TheDad says
1. That little girls can melt your heart
2. That teenagers must be crazy and make no sense
3. That if you have more than one kid you’ll be paying the equivalent of a mortgage for child care
Lisa Maria Carroll says
Wow, I love these lists. I wish I’d known why animals eat their young…Nuff said.
Lisa Maria Carrolls last blog post..Ten things a single mother learned about raising a son without a man
Tara Pringle Jefferson says
@TheDad – Oh, man you aren’t kidding about the childcare! We’re forking over $1200 a month for these kids! Please let me know when kindergarten starts, please! We’ll be balling out of control once that happens.
Tara
https://theyoungmommylife.com
Tara Pringle Jeffersons last blog post..Weekly Inspiration (Double dose this week!): Quote from childbirth educator
Courtney says
1. That it was possible to be able to love someone so much! I mean I’ve been in love and knew that love was strong, but NEVER knew it was possible to love another the way I love my son.
2. How crazy sleep deprivation will make you!
3. Something so small could poop SO MUCH. How can his little self fill a diaper to the point where it comes out the diaper, runs up the back, my goodness!
4. When you’re having a really bad day and totally frustrated, all it takes is a smile from your child to smooth everything out!
5. Friends are guarenteed to change!
Harriet says
1. Like the cute commercial says, “Oh, those boys are much too much, those boys are much too much.”
2. That no fear for him means quick reflexes for me. LOL
3. That God knows just how to put a child in the family that fits, whether adoptive or biological.
4. That food allergies can be really scary, but after a while, you can get used to them
5. That eczema is of the DEVIL! LOL
Anna says
All the love, nuturing an nursing back to health, The water bottle to spary away the boogie man in the closet and the monster under the bed, the first day of Kindergarden when kid and parent have seperation anxiety. We do all this to prepare to send them on their way to make their own lives. Nobody mentionted “the emptynest”syndrome. I am not use to an empty home. Yes, I do have my hubby and I feel like a newlywed again, but after raising kids for the last 23 yrs. it’s hard to adjust. We still cook for an Army. I typed this too soon, my daughter just walked in the door from college for Winter break. A college kid always comes home with dirty laundry and an appetite. Our leftovers will get eatten. LOL.
Arlice Nichole says
I wish that I knew having girls would make me want to buy every little pink and purple, pink and green, pink and brown and pink and pink thing all the time. ALL THE TIME!
Arlice Nicholes last blog post..Jingle All the Way Into the New Year
T. Rogers says
1. That my son would have the appetite I had at his age (and the poops to match!)
2. That so much space in my brain would be taken over with thoughts about or related to my children. Seriously, it’s one thing to not be able to do some of the things you used to like. I often don’t even get a chance to think about things I used. (In some ways that’s a good thing).
@Arlice Nichole,
I have 3 month old daughter. I am already tired of pink. I told my wife I refuse to buy her anything else pink.
Also,
3. That my children would make me realize that we lose something when become adults. It is good for adults to have both small children and the elder in our lives. They keep us balanced.
4. That would never want to go back to my bachelor days. There is nothing in the world like fatherhood. I could not imagine life without my children.
Desiree says
Four kids in Day care runs $2500/month even when 2 of them are school aged. I found a private Christian school costs only $1600/month for all four once the youngest turned 3.
Now that the kids are older (8-15) all our funds goes towards competitive cheerleading and competitive dance team, uniforms, competition fees, travel and hotel expenses, private lessons, tap, ballet, jazz shoes, and for the three boys–Baseball uniforms, soccer uniforms and shoes, and travel expenses for all-star Baseball team that travels up and down the east coast.
Only 3 more years till the oldest goes to college. It NEVER ends! But I wouldn’t change any of it for the world!
Lteefaw says
A Few Things I Wish I Knew Before I Had a child….
1) That every one and their mama would suddenly become a child care expert. This include people who don’t even have kids. I have never in my life have so many random people tell me how I should live my life now that I had a child.
2) That breast feeding aint no joke. Everyone made it sound so easy. But they left out the part about how swollen your boobs can get if you aren’t anywhere near breast pump.
3) How just hearing a baby cry can cause you to have a milk let down
4) Even after your baby starts sleep thru the night I would still be getting up to check on them.
5) That a grown a$$ man would be bothered by the fact that his wife spends more time with the baby then with him.
MissJay says
@ Harriet
“3. That God knows just how to put a child in the family that fits, whether adoptive or biological.”
If I’m not the living proof of that. I don’t have children yet, but my fiancé does. Why do they look like I birthed the both of them.
What I’ve learned since I’ve become a parent:
1. That they are THE CUTEST when they are sleeping. Makes you wanna just kiss them all over…and try not to wake them up.
2. That you want to take your naps when they take theirs because when they wake up you’re up every 2 minutes making sure they aren’t tearing the apartment up.
3. That a sleeping 2 and 3 year old are EXTREMELY heavy.
4. That even when they’re driving you CRAZY, when they tell you I love you it makes it all melt away…..for a moment 🙂
Constance says
@Harriet If I don’t 100% agree with the eczema comment. How I HATE having to slather my son with cream and Vaseline 2 times a day and give him oatmeal baths 1-2 times a week. But I praise God and say thank you that a little eczema is all I have to deal with.
@Lteefaw I also definitely agree with you about everyone becoming a parenting expert. My girlfriends would try to tell me what I need to do with the kids and I would just smile and nod. Now my girlfriends have kids and they’re just like, “I don’t know what to do.” And all I can do is smile and nod remembering when they used to have all the answers before they actually had kids. I would also add in people that forgot what it was like when they first became mothers. My oldest was born Dec 4th, and by the time Christmas rolled around I figured she was old enough to hang out with the fam so we went to my uncle’s house. When we were gearing up to go back home my grandmother was getting on me about how long it was taking me to buckle her in her car seat. All I could think was it’s not like I have a lot of experience with this. She’s only 3 weeks old so we haven’t used the car seat that often.
Things that I’ve learned or Wish I had Known
1. That my parents would be such saps. My mom lets my kids get away with MURDER and if I try to discipline them while she’s around she sits there and stares at them with the “Oh my poor baby” face. lol
2. How hard it would be to get a 3 year old to eat something she doesn’t want to eat. That is just a never ending battle almost every mealtime. She could not even have tasted it. If it looks nasty in her mind it tastes nasty so she will not try it.
3. The guilt I would feel when I have homework and they want to play. Before I got back in school I thought I would be able to just sit them down with some toys and they would be fine, but all they want to do is sit up underneath me.
4. The depth that they bring to a relationship. When I was pregnant with my 1st my husband would just stare at me and say how thankful and special he felt that I was having his children. I didn’t get that same treatment with the 2nd. Guess he felt like we had already been through it before. lol
5. How annoying that little voice could get. I love my daughter, and son, more than life itself. But if it’s been one of those really bad days where they’ve thrown tantrum after tantrum, even hearing her voice gets on my last nerve.
6. How different 2 kids could be. My daughter is the star. She wants all eyes on her ALL the time. It’s not hard to please her because she tries so hard to please us. My son on the other is the chill one. He could care less if you’re smiling in his face or paying him the littlest bit of attention. He’s perfectly content minding his own business and having you mind yours. So our approach is COMPLETELY different with him. We have to actually try to make him laugh and keep him interested in us.
7. How hard it would be to get out the door. We can never just decide to pick up and go. I always say that I want us to be gone in the am, but unless a miracle is involved the earliest we usually get out is 12 or 1.
Charity says
Kids suck. I regret having mine. I have no life, she whines and complains. I wish i would have gotten a really great cat!
mike says
QdxteB hi! how you doin?
Shadeema says
I wish I’d known how hard potty training was going to be, how smart mouthed she was going to be, how much she’d enjoy singing, how they want to eat tt4/7.