Surveys have shown that financial arguments are a leading cause of divorce. From secret credit cards to hidden bank accounts, it’s the underlying spending habits are the real issue.
A recent poll on CreditCards.com revealed that most women would end a relationship after discovering secrets about their partner’s spending habits. The website’s director of marketing and consumer research, Ben Woolsey, stated that a person’s credit history is often viewed as a determining factor of their trustworthiness in a relationship. Similarly, author of The Heart of Money: A Couple’s Guide to Creating True Financial Intimacy, Deborah Price, says that one’s self-worth is often confused with their net worth.
“If the conversation isn’t broached early on, financial secrets—when revealed—can lead to a breaking point. “When there is financial conflict, couples tend to stake out a territory,” says Price. “One says, ‘This is the way I am with money, and this is the way you are, and our values and priorities are just too different for us to find some kind of middle ground to keep this marriage together.'”
Jean Dorrell, a certified estate planner and president of Senior Financial Security in The Villages, Fla. brings to light the issue of ‘If you lie to me about these small things, what else are you lying to me about?’ when it comes to trying to avoid arguments by lying about expenses. Financial and marital infidelity often go hand-in-hand as they both convey a lack of trust, communication and understanding suggests marriage and family therapist and certified public accountant, Paula Levy.
Experts agree that the best thing for couples to do is to openly discuss their finances to avoid leaving controversial money habits in the dark.
Read more on the subject on the U.S. News website
BMWK — What financial issues or secrets have you experienced in your relationship? How did you overcome them?
Anna Mae says
My spouse and I have completely different spending habits…we’re not in the middle of getting a divorce.
Rosemary / romanticmarriage.org says
I can remember years ago hearing older women say that every wife should have a secret “escape fund”. That was in the days when women had fewer career choices and were much more likely to be completely dependent on their husbands. Many of them were worried that if things got bad they would be helpless. Times have changed, fortunately. I think it’s better to start out with some honest conversations about financial expectations.