by Aja Dorsey Jackson
Last weekend I was sitting at my daughter’s soccer practice and decided to send my husband a text message. It said hi- followed by a smiley face. He called me almost immediately.
Him: “What’s wrong? Did you break something in the house?”
Me: “No! Why would you ask that?”
Him: “Because you never send text messages to say hi. I thought you were doing it because I was going to find a disaster when I got home.”
We laughed about his assumption for a little while, but afterward I thought to myself: Is this what it has come to? I can’t send my husband a hello without him thinking the furnace has exploded?
Early on in our marriage we used to call and text each other all of the time during the day for no reason. Sometimes it would be to say “hi” or “I love you”, sometimes it would be just to talk for a moment or to tell each other about something funny that happened.
Now if I text him during the day it is to ask him to pick up diapers or milk on the way home or to ask whether he’ll be off of work early enough for me to go to the gym. If he calls me it’s usually to ask me to take something out of the freezer for dinner. To be honest, the shift in our phone conversation is not something I think about much.
Maybe I should think about it more. I still feel a little excited when I see his number pop up on my phone, even if it is just to ask about pork chops for dinner and I don’t want him to think that every time my number pops up that the house must have fallen down. But we have a lot more to do throughout the course of a day than we once did so it makes sense that our conversations would center around those things. We aren’t newlyweds. We’ve been married for a few years and have a 10-year-old and a toddler. Sometimes I worry about holding on to all of those things we used to do when we were newly married and dating to keep our relationship fresh, but then I wonder, is it ok to let certain things, like talking on the phone a lot, just fade out?
Do you still talk on the phone or text your spouse? Do you think it is important to your marriage?
Aja Dorsey Jackson is a freelance writer and public relations consultant in Baltimore, Maryland. Find out more about her at www.ajadorseyjackson.com or follow her on twitter @ajajackson.
TheMrs says
I giggle like a school girl whenever he calls during the day, he seems to call at the moment when I am most stressed and I just sit back and listen to his smooth voice and it brings me back to a state of calm. Sometimes it’s just a quick smiley face email when his day is extra busy, but “school girl” me can hear his voice say “Hey”…lol.
It’s important to still “date” your spouse, especially as our families grow and our careers blossom and those moments of just being a couple of fewer and farther between.
TheMrs says
I giggle like a school girl whenever he calls during the day, he seems to call at the moment when I am most stressed and I just sit back and listen to his smooth voice and it brings me back to a state of calm. Sometimes it’s just a quick smiley face email when his day is extra busy, but “school girl” me can hear his voice say “Hey”…lol.
It’s important to still “date” your spouse, especially as our families grow and our careers blossom and those moments of just being a couple of fewer and farther between.
TheMrs says
I giggle like a school girl whenever he calls during the day, he seems to call at the moment when I am most stressed and I just sit back and listen to his smooth voice and it brings me back to a state of calm. Sometimes it’s just a quick smiley face email when his day is extra busy, but “school girl” me can hear his voice say “Hey”…lol.
It’s important to still “date” your spouse, especially as our families grow and our careers blossom and those moments of just being a couple of fewer and farther between.
TheMrs says
I giggle like a school girl whenever he calls during the day, he seems to call at the moment when I am most stressed and I just sit back and listen to his smooth voice and it brings me back to a state of calm. Sometimes it’s just a quick smiley face email when his day is extra busy, but “school girl” me can hear his voice say “Hey”…lol.
It’s important to still “date” your spouse, especially as our families grow and our careers blossom and those moments of just being a couple of fewer and farther between.
TheMrs says
I giggle like a school girl whenever he calls during the day, he seems to call at the moment when I am most stressed and I just sit back and listen to his smooth voice and it brings me back to a state of calm. Sometimes it’s just a quick smiley face email when his day is extra busy, but “school girl” me can hear his voice say “Hey”…lol.
It’s important to still “date” your spouse, especially as our families grow and our careers blossom and those moments of just being a couple of fewer and farther between.
alex says
it’s been 2 years that we got married and to this day we call each other. i guess it’s fresh. lol
for me, i like to talk on the phone therefore it easy.
Dianne M Daniels says
Love this…I often send my husband of 20 years little text messages to check in, to say hi or just say I miss him. Sometimes I just send x’s and o’s (kisses and hugs) and other times we send ‘coded’ messages (he’s retired Navy, we got used to sending ‘coded’ messages when Familygrams – radio messages – were our only method of contact during deployments) that no one will understand but us. It’s fun and keeps us laughing…and we love to laugh. I also love talking to him on the phone…and the majority of our cell phone calls are to each other. I agree that it’s easy to slide into ‘mundane’ matters, and that it’s important to make those loving, friendly, flirty calls to each other a priority as well…
Whyte23 says
Wow…This is great. We do both ( Text and Speak on the phone) through out the day …It’s healthy for the relationship! Yes, Even when we have a disagree…Life’s too short!
ArnitaFields says
Yes, we still do. It’s important and keeps the lines of communication open even when you are not in the same place. When we got married 13 years ago, we left notes for each other on our pillows because we did not have cell phone and worked different shifts. I have kept most of the notes my husband and I shared in a journal from back then. Good communication is key to any relationship.
Tiya says
This is too funny because it just happened to us. My husband was out and called me, I answered like “yeah, what’s up” thinking to myself, what do you need me to turn off or to do in the house while you are out, and he just said it had been a while since we talked on the phone. I loved it. We talked just like we used to. This is something we definitely have to do more often.
Shayla says
That is too funny!! James and I text, email and sometimes twitt on a daily basis. Before we were even dating, we mainly communicated via text message and when we did talk on the phone, it was always a long conversation. I think he probably spends more time on the phone than I do and I’m the woman. Once we started dating, we always would send random text throughout the day. Since we both worked in a call center at the time, that was the best way to communicate. Once we both left, we did the emailing daily just to say hi, or I love you and of course the texting or blackberry messages were still going on. Once we were both working in offices we started calling mainly because we could and we would have nothing to really talk about. The calls were quite frequent and to the point were sometimes I would be thinking what could you possibly want? Didnt you just text me?? Or sent me an email?? Since he is no longer in an office and can’t just randomly call, I actually miss it. We have been married for almost 2 years and so far we haven’t cut off the random text to say I love you or miss you, I really hope we don’t it usually is the bright spot of my day! Great article Aja!!
Chocolate Mom says
Ha! I’m happy to say that one of the things hubby and I still do very well is call and text just because. He makes sure I’m awake every morning for work with a text (I wake up before the kids), and we text and/or call throughout the day to “touch base” or just say “hi”. It wasn’t until your post that I really see how wonderfully blessed I am to still do this after 5 years of marriage! Thanks for the reminder!
Anonymous says
Yes, as a married couple of 3 years, we call several times during the work day. We also try to have a catch-up session as we are settling in bed for the night. Nothing formal, just casual chatting while watching tv. I admit, it used to annoy me a little to get so many calls during the day. But now, if he doesn’t call at the usual time, I’ll call him like “what happened?”
Melanie says
I’ve been married 14 years and we still text or call just to check on each other. It makes me feel special. I call or text him to check on him because I like to make him feel special too.