According to a recent survey by Hinge, a dating app, men are 11 percent less likely to want a relationship during the spring and summer and women were 5 percent less likely to want something serious. Is this a sign that everyone wants to stay single in the summer? On the contrary! With longer days and hotter nights, there’s much more to do, such as festivals, cruises, weddings and the annual “all white party,” and people want a boo to do it with. They just might not want to settle down and commit when it’s all said and done. In other words, don’t expect your new summer boyfriend to invite you to his family reunion.
If you’re actively dating right now, this doesn’t mean everyone on the dating scene is only focused on causal dating. What it does mean is that dating follows cycles. There are seasons to love and if you’re aware of the season you’re in, you can make better choices now that will lead you to the lasting relationship you desire.
For example, late fall/early winter has become known as “cuffing season.” Perhaps the idea of enduring the holidays alone has people longing for a committed relationships. But some cuffing couples don’t survive “breakup season.” David Mccandleuss, a data journalist, reviewed Facebook profiles and discovered that there are 7 peak times during the year when couples breakup (and apparently they come to Facebook to tell everyone about it!). People start changing their relationship status from “in a relationship,” to “it’s complicated,” to “single,” as early as two weeks before Christmas. The breakups continue through Valentine’s Day and peak during late spring/early summer.
Spring Fever seems to ignite the desire for love again, and by summertime, people who were normally hibernating in their homes or avoiding online dating sites, start actively searching for a date.
So what does this mean for you if you’re single and want a committed relationship?
1. A influx of fresh faces in the dating pool
This is a great time to makeover your online dating site with new photos and a new profile because chances are, there are going to be a lot of new people trying out a site for the first time. One of my current coaching clients just connected with a gentleman on MELD, a dating app for African American professionals. He told her he was searching for new apps, and a friend had recommended he try it. They were amazed to discover they lived walking distance from each other and probably wouldn’t have met if they hadn’t downloaded the app.
2. More date options, so keep those options open
I’m a big advocate for casual dating, and the summer would be a great time to do it. During the summer, people usually have the urge to get out and have fun. And that means singles too. And like I mentioned before, there will be plenty of places to take or find a date.
Now, I’m not talking about casual hookups. Instead, I’m advising that you keep your options open, enjoy meeting new people and explore whether or not you and your date have enough compatibility to enter into a committed relationship. You’ll want to communicate your boundaries clearly, however, because some singles will just want a “summer fling!”
3. Intentional dating will help you avoid the dead end summer flings
You’ll want to resist getting deeply attached to someone you just met without going through the dating process. Like Will Smith said in the song Summertime, “It’s like the summer’s a natural aphrodisiac.” You can get blinded by chemistry when the weather is hot, so keep your intention in the forefront of your mind.
For example, one of my clients was raving to me about this amazing man she’d met while she was on vacation in Jamaica. “We spent hours talking every day, and we have so much in common. I think he could be The One! The only problem is he lives in New York, and I’m in LA and neither of us have any intention of moving anywhere.” My client was blurring the excitement of meeting someone new with the energy boost she received from her tropical vacation. I had to remind her that we tend to go on vacation to escape the pressures of our lives. She needed to stay grounded in the reality that this guy probably wasn’t a good match for her after all.
A summer romance could lead to a winter relationship, if you strategically position yourself to be seen by all the new singles in the dating pool, stay intentional and keep your options open. If it doesn’t, there’s always cuffing season!
BMWK, do you think there are seasons to love? Share your thoughts below!