This is another post by our friend and guest blogger Avg. Joe. Background: Single in his thirties, DC area. You can reach Avg. Joe directly with ideas for future posts at [email protected] .
When dealing with women, you hear all sort of lines…You know the usual “I think you’re really nice”, “I’m not really looking to be in a relationship right now”, “I’m not having sex anymore til I get married” “I’m just looking for someone to be my friend”, “I don’t wanna mess up the friendship. But there’s one that you really can’t get a hold on, and that’s “I feel really comfortable around you.”
On the surface it sounds harmless, I mean you want a woman to be comfortable around you, you want her to feel good about being able to talk to you, but something about that line oozes of “you’re like a snuggly little cuddly bear.” lol I think a woman needs to have a healthy dose of fear(not fear of being hit or abused, but fear that this dude might try her if she comes through.) when it comes to a man. She needs to know he isn’t trying to be buddies. What say you people, am I way off on this?
What does it mean, when a woman tells you she is comfortable around you?
I can’t comment on another persons feelings only my own, so here goes, when I felt comfortable around males in the past it was because I saw this person as a friend or someone I can just chill and talk to. I felt nervous around people that I had feelings for.
Misbeehavin I didn’t think about it before you said it but that makes a lot of sense. Being comfortable around a person that’s a buddy and being nervous around someone you have an interest in.
So for the fellas I guess if you hear that it could be the kiss of death. LOL
Misbeehavin, you hit the nail on the head with me. If I’m comfortable, more than likely I just see you as a friend and that our relationship will pretty much remain plutonic.
I agree with Misbeehavin, but I also think another way. I was recently spending time with a man that I felt VERY comfortable with. What was great was that I also had feelings for him. The comfort that I felt dashed any of the nervousness that I could have felt.
For me feeling comfortable means that I am open to whatever possibilities are out there for us–be them platonic or romantic. It means that I’m open to being authentically myself with someone. If I tell a man that I’m comfortable around him, that means I trust him, and am willing to explore our friendship.
that’s a tough one to answer. it can go both ways i think. i’ve had friends that i developed feelings for BECAUSE of my comfort level with them. then there were the guys i was nervous around because i had feelings for them, which completely dissolved once i got comfortable. i’m in a relationship and my comfort level with my boyfriend makes me love him more. lol. so all this to say, i have no idea. it can go both ways.