If your mate doesn’t like your “friends” what should you do? Okay y’all know the scenario…you get into a new relationship, but you still have the same old friends.
She is the gossip queen and when you and your mate have a disagreement, she says stuff like “girl, you don’t have to answer to him.”
You and your friends have been down for a long time, but your mate thinks they are bad business for you and for your relationship. There are a few types of friends your mate might just be giving the side eye!
1) Your opposite sex BFF
YES – men and women are perfectly capable of being platonic friends, but I find it funny how this opinion starts shifting a little once people get into a relationship or a marriage. Many times, your mate also starts rethinking that the idea is possible or whether it’s okay when they start seeing it in practice.
When they see the phone calls, text messages, and time spent, what used to be all good turns into suspicion. Truth is, if you’re going to have an opposite friend BFF, some boundaries have to be set and they have to be involved and introduced to the new mate. Anything else might definitely cause the side eye!
2) Your play brother or sister
Everyone has heard it before….”you know she is like my sister,” or “you know that’s my brother,” yet y’all don’t share any blood. Y’all are really close and supposedly respect your relationships, yet the brother or sister seems to get a little possessive of you.
They give you a hard time for spending time with your new mate instead of them and they say stuff like “ever since you got in that relationship you act different!” Your new mate feels the vibe so don’t be surprised when your “brother” or “sister” gets the side eye!
3) Your work spouse
You see each other all day at work; in fact, you probably spend more time with them than your actual mate. You work on projects together and you talk often, but now suddenly you’re hanging out more after hours and you’re talking more and more about things unrelated to work.
While you might see the person as your work wife/husband, your real wife or husband might think they want to turn the fantasy into reality. And, they might just get the side eye!
4) Your single and a “playa” homeboy
You still have that one homeboy who is committed to being a player the rest of his life. He runs the ladies and doesn’t apologize for it at all.
He’s tried to get with every one of your mates’ friends and probably succeeded a time or two. The only issue is that he still wants you to be his right hand man on the scene.
He doesn’t quite understand why your priorities and environment have to change and, since he is your boy, you try to keep up. Your boy doesn’t mean any harm, but just know your mate is giving him the side eye!
5) Your messy homegirl
She has been your bestie since college or maybe even your high school days. She hasn’t quite found a man yet so she is playing the field and somehow always in the middle of drama.
She is the gossip queen and when you and your mate have a disagreement, she says stuff like “girl, you don’t have to answer to him.” She tries to make you feel guilty for not having as much time for her and “choosing a man over her.”
Your man tolerates her because she is your friend, but he knows she is messy and is giving her the side eye from afar.
6) Your EX turned friend
This friend always seems to ruffle some feathers. This person was your ex or is maybe even the mother or father of your child. But, since it didn’t work out, y’all decided you would be better off as friends.
Well, it was all good when you were single; but, trying to make your new mate or spouse comfortable with that is going to be a pretty tough task.
They know how they were with their exes and they don’t want to introduce that into their relationship. If you fight that battle too hard just know that you and the ex turned friend will get the side eye.
Okay so after you’ve gotten the side eye enough times, just know that once you enter into a committed relationship or marriage, certain types of friendships will shift.
This isn’t to say you have to cut off all of your friends, but it is to say that open and honest conversations about boundaries is necessary. Don’t let issues or feelings fester only to turn into a blow up and ultimatums later. Compromise and communicate!
BMWK Fam what other “friends” might get the side eye from your mate?