Separation in marriage can be tricky. First you must think about why you separated and how long it will last. In a previous article, Does Separation Lead to Divorce?, I shared some of the consequences of a marriage separation.
Dating others is one area I think should be avoided because it can lead you places you had no intention of going. Remember, even though you are separated, you are not divorced. So what do you do with your free time? Can you date? Should you date?
Dating during separation usually leads to sex, and depending on how long you have been married, you may be wondering what it would be like to be with someone else. If you go there, you’ve committed adultery. The Bible says in I Corinthians 7:2, “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”
God does not favor adultery.
Dating during separation can trick you into thinking you are free to explore new things with members of the opposite sex. Be careful. I John 2:16 says, “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father but is of the world.”
If you choose this route of partying, thinking you are getting your groove back, boosting your ego to see if you still ” have it,” you are setting yourself up for destruction. God is not pleased.
Dating during separation can give you a false sense of revenge. You may think you are getting back at your spouse or trying to make him/her jealous; but be wise. That’s childish behavior and I’m sure you’re too grown for that.
Click here for some encouraging words about marriage from the Bible.
Hebrews 10:30 “For we know Him who said, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” And again, “The LORD will judge His people.” If your spouse cheated don’t go for payback because you are going to mess up. God will take care of it.
Whatever your reason for separation communicate before making a final decision. Set rules and a time frame and by all means get counseling. Don’t play around with your marriage while you are separated because you just might find yourselves divorced if you are not careful.
BMWK family should you date while separated?
Sarah says
Amen!!
His Chocolate Rose says
Great article, but I have to admit that I been there done that. My situation at the time did not change or save my marriage. My then husband no longer wanted a marriage or our son during the time, but Im so glad that God did not give up on me/my son. So, my conclusion is that I experienced a very painful and devestating divorce in the past, but I no longer identify with my past. Isn’t God great???
anonymous says
If you file for a legal separation, legally, you are allowed to date other people. Just an FYI.
LaToya Irving says
I wanted to write about the spiritual side. Since technically separated people are still married.