Two weeks ago, the ladies were clapping their hands, supporting the advice I gave in this article about telling the fellas how to STEP THEIR GAME UP. Well , you know it wouldn’t be me if I didn’t come back and give some tips to the ladies to help them pep up their romance game as well.
Ladies, just like us men, you sometimes get way too comfortable as well. Sometimes, you think as long as you are taking care of the house and the kids, then your husband should be content. While your husband appreciates the things you do, he probably wants his WOMAN back as well.
Ladies, do you remember that woman you used to be? You were the sexy, sweet, funny, positive woman with a zest for life. You were once super affectionate toward your man and comfortable in your beauty and body. You had that kill ‘em catwalk strut, that infectious energy and captivating self-confidence. Is that woman still there?
If she’s been missing in action lately, here are just a few ways you may be able to find her again.
1) Make Yourself Over
Now this could mean a lot of things. But I really mean do something that will make you feel better about yourself and increase your confidence. This could mean starting a workout regimen and losing those pounds that have you feeling insecure. Or you could even get new clothes or new makeup–whatever it is just do it.
Get back the glow you once had by investing in you again. Plus, the exercise could relieve some of the stress you may be feeling and the makeover might just be what the doctor ordered for your self-confidence.
2) Buy a New Fragrance
Okay, I know you don’t want to let go of that Red Door perfume or that old Bath and Body Works lotion, but it might be time. Your husband might have liked that scent 10 years ago, but give him something new to smell on you.
Men love a good smelling woman, but if you switch it up, it will take him by surprise and probably turn him on. Go invest in some new sexy fragrance. Visit any fragrance counter and get some samples to see which ones you (and your man) like best on you.
…you can’t pour from an empty cup, and your mate should reap the benefits of your energy and desire as well.
3) Ask for Some Help
Ladies, I know so many of you thrive off of being a “superwoman,” but sometimes you need a little help. Sometimes you need some relief from your daily mommy duties. Ask for help, either your husband, a nanny for hire or family and friends. Give yourself a break and take some time for you and for your relationship with your husband.
Don’t let life drain so much of your energy that you have none left for you and for love. Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and your mate should reap the benefits of your energy and desire as well. Don’t be content giving him the scraps of what’s left of you.
4) Adopt a New Bedtime Routine
Ladies, I know nothing is more comfortable than those knitted cotton pajamas and the trusty head wrap that’s been with you since college. While that’s cool at times for most men, those items scream, “I’m going to bed, so don’t you even think about asking for sex.”
As a result he stops asking, you stop expecting, and months have passed with no intimacy between the two of you. Go get some new, sexy underwear that will make you feel sexy (he will already think you’re sexy with the change-up). Also, have a routine that allows you to wind down together before bed (i.e. kids, chores, computer or phone free), so that you can enjoy some quiet relaxation time together.
5) Visit an Adult Store
Women often think if her man wants a toy or to visit a sex store, then it means she isn’t enough for him. The truth of the matter is, it’s just another way for you and your husband to have some fun and possibly spice some things up.
If you come home with some new toys and energy about sex, I’m almost sure he will follow suit. Break away from the same old same old, and try some new things, try some new positions, and try initiating romance more. You will get reengaged in your sex life, and it will benefit the both of you.
6) Check Your Attitude
Ladies, you usually set the tone in your household. When you are negative, bothered, distracted or exhausted, it sets the tone and everyone else follows the lead.
Everyone is walking on eggshells, hoping to avoid the wrath of mama. Your husband tries to stay out of your way, which you may take as him being disengaged, and then the cycle continues. Set a good tone when you walk in the house, and if you are feeling overwhelmed, go back to point No. 3 and ask for help.
Women you are amazing, and you do so much for everyone else, but please don’t forget to treat yourself just as good. You are at your best when you feel good about yourself. These are just some small things you can do to get that good vibe going again in your life. Doing these things will help you, your husband and your household. Don’t believe me? Try ‘em and see!
BMWK: Ladies, have you gotten too comfortable in your marriage? Fellas, what do you miss most about the woman you first met?