Fellas, sometimes we can get way too comfortable in our long-term relationships. We think that just because we are going to work and paying bills our wives should just be grateful and satisfied. WELP…even though your lady appreciates that, she wants her MAN back and you probably don’t even know it.

If you’ve stopped paying attention, then remember women are physical beings too. So maybe it’s time to send her a reminder that you’re still the same MAN, who was able to bag her in the first place.  Here are a few things I’ve pulled from my new book that might help you get your swag back, and, in turn, have her all over you again.

1) Get some new underwear

Fellas, she pays attention to your underwear more than you think. I know you’ve broken in those same old boxers, brief, t-shirts and socks but they are really just old, worn and full of holes. Your white t-shirts are now beige, your black briefs are now gray, your socks have strings coming out of them. Seriously man, throw those things away and go to Target and re-stock. Or invest in some fancy, designer duds to really capture her attention. Putting on the new ones will fit better on you and look better to her. Trust me she will notice.

2) Get in the gym and get your sexy back

Fellas, that beer gut sneaks up on us real fast, but the good news is that we can lose it pretty quickly. I can speak from experience because it happened to me too, and it immediately affected my confidence and how attractive I felt. After I stopped making excuses, I started working out and lost some of that gut, and now I have an entirely new strut when I step out of the shower. Not only that, but my wife looks at me with a new fire in her eyes.

Bruh, get your sexy back and give yourself the chance to recapture that fiery look in your wife’s eyes.

3) Upgrade your wardrobe and cologne

Sorry, guys, but sometimes your style is old and just played out. I know we get stuck in our ways and like what we like and/or are hesitant to try anything new. But I challenge you to just do something different. Drop your pride and maybe see a stylist or consult a stylish friend. Then, get rid of that same old Brut or Curve cologne that you’ve been rocking since you and her met. Give her something fresh to look at and to smell. She will love it and find the switch up exciting.

4) Step your date game & sexy game up

You may already keep up with the act of dating your wife, but can you please take her somewhere other than just the one or two spots y’all have been going for the last 10 years? Surprise her and take her somewhere out of your norm (the ballet, theater, art show, etc.).

And then bring her home and impress her with a few new moves in the bedroom. Open up your willingness to experiment and at least try a few new things. Not sure what to do or how? Visit an adult store or to a place that will get your erotic juices flowing. I promise these things will take your lady by surprise in the best way possible.

5) Start taking care of your body (feet, hands, hair)

I know it might not be the most masculine thing, but your lady is tired of your feet cutting her under the sheets and your hands feeling like sandpaper when you touch her. Also, women love a well-groomed man, so you’re going to have to get a haircut more than once a month and trim that shabby beard too. Take care of yourself, and she will take care of you too.

6) Find your passion again

Sometimes when life happens we forget about our passions, but nothing is sexier to your woman than to see you in your zone. So, whatever it is you used to be passionate about, get back into it. Maybe it was cars, the yard, sports or music. Whatever it is, go find it again and watch her get turned on by watching you do it.

Guys please don’t read this blog and take it personal or get defensive as I’m just trying to help you get back to the best you possible—the one that your lady adores and probably misses. Sometimes we get comfortable and that comfort can manifest as laziness in the things we used to be zealous about. Make an honest effort to accomplish the things on this list, and as your confidence skyrockets watch your chemistry with your wife do the same.

BMWK: Guys, have you gotten too comfortable in your marriage? Ladies, what do you miss most about the man you first met?