Some committed couples forget what it’s like to be alone. As a result, they start to take both their partner and their relationship for granted.
Over time, they become so accustomed to having a partner to come home to and share their life with that they forget what it feels like to come home to an empty house, sleep in an empty bed, prepare meals for one, or watch their favorite television show alone.
They even forget the deep longing for companionship they once felt when they heard love songs on the radio or served as a groomsman or bridesmaid at yet another wedding when they were single.
Couples that take both their mate and their relationship for granted are in danger of falling into a mental, emotional, and physical slumber that changes their perspective and appreciation for the gifts of companionship and relationship.
Not only do these couples forget what it is like to be alone and lonely, they also forget that each day that their mate continues to remain in a committed relationship with them is in fact a choice and not an obligation.
When couples begin to think that their mates are obligated to be with them, intimacy loses priority in their relationship.
To delay and prevent intimacy from occurring in their relationship, they begin to say things to themselves and to each other like I’m:
- too busy
- too tired
- too stressed
- too worried
- too angry
- too unattractive
- too ashamed
- too distracted
- too sick
- too unappreciated
Interestingly enough they begin to feel justified in exhibiting this behavior, yet become mystified when their relationship falls apart.
Committed couples must remember that intimacy is the critical connector that promotes spiritual harmony, creates emotional and mental balance, and intensifies physical closeness in their relationship.
Intimacy allows them to connect with their mate in a deeper and more meaningful way.
Couples must remember to STOP and take the time to reconnect their hearts, minds, bodies, and souls with their mates daily.
Rather than thinking thoughts like “damn, my mate wants to have sex again,” why not bask in the fact that your mate loves and wants you, finds you attractive, and desires the soft caress of your touch and warmth of your kiss?
Why not allow the knowledge that your mate still longs to be with you, and wants to share such an intimate experience with you, to turn you on now like it did when your relationship was new?
Couples that respect the fact that their mates could be anywhere else in the world and sharing an intimate experience with anyone else in the world, but chooses to express a desire to be with them really understand the importance and sacredness of intimacy in a relationship.
They take every opportunity to share and give of themselves to their mates.
Maintaining a strong sense of intimacy is critical to the success of all romantic relationships.
Couples that take their mates for granted and don’t understand the value of intimacy leave empty spaces in their mates that someone else will and can easily fill.
That statement is not meant to scare, threaten or intimidate anyone. It is meant to state a reality that couples I work with fall victim to everyday. I have to remind couples that their mates leave home each day and go to work well groomed, professionally dressed, adorned with a great smile and positive attitude.
This often means, their colleagues view them as smart, charming, funny, intriguing, and nice for 8 hours a day.
Couples that take their mates for granted and don’t fulfill their needs for intimacy need to understand that there are people outside the home that will step in the gap, fill that space, and captivate their mate’s mind, heart and body.
Couples must shift their thinking and make a point to nourish their intimacy lifeline daily as it is the pulse that keeps their relationship beating strong.
Couples, please talk to, touch, tease, and tantalize your mate often. Fill them with the energy, excitement, and erotic tension you shared when you were dating. Hold hands, steal glances, give each other warm embraces and long kisses.
Couples, I challenge you to try the “Three Moments of Intimacy” rule with your mate for 30 days.
It’s really easy to do.
Simply commit to kissing, hugging, and speaking the words “I Love You” in the morning when you wake up, immediately upon returning home in the afternoon, and at night before you go to sleep.
The 1st moment of intimacy should energize you for the day.
The 2nd moment of intimacy should be filled with anticipation and excitement.
The 3rd moment of intimacy should be filled with gratitude and appreciation.
Don’t allow life’s stresses, bad attitudes, lack of gratitude, or unjustified expectation to become intimacy barriers in your relationship.
Remember intimacy must be practiced daily.
Stop believing the stories that life has convinced you to tell each other and reconnect with your mate. Reward yourselves and revel in each other’s love.
BMWK, what are some other daily intimacy gestures you practice at home?