Sex is a vital part of marriage. Sometimes sex can become something other than the act of expressing love to your spouse. As we fall into our routine with each other and situations evolve in our lives, the sex can change. There is nothing wrong with change, just as long as the change doesn’t lead to problems in the marriage. Listed are some things sex shouldn’t be.
1. Sex shouldn’t be used as a means of control or manipulation. The only thing that should be gained from sex with your spouse is pleasure. Sex shouldn’t be withheld as a form of punishment. It’s understandable if you are not in the mood after an argument, but sometimes make-up sex is phenomenal!
2. Sex shouldn’t be done the same way in the same place…all of the time. Start exploring different positions, and try it in new places. You don’t have to do it outside, but think about the shower, a chair in your room or even the living room floor. Also, don’t shy away from bringing adult toys into the mix. Surprising your spouse with lingerie during the workweek (if you have time) or a sensuous massage are some ways to spice it up!
3. Sex shouldn’t be discussed intimately with friends and family. What happens in your bedroom should stay in your bedroom. I know people discuss that they may be happy or unhappy with the sex, but be careful who you share that with. Some people may relish in your unhappiness. Sharing the steamy, intimate details about what your spouse does may awaken the curiosity in your friends and in some very sad cases, some family members. They may want to experience just how good your spouse really is. Remember, not everyone needs to know all the details.
Now that you know what sex shouldn’t be, have fun pleasing each other. Refrain from manipulation, don’t be afraid to try something new and please be careful who you discuss your sex life with!
BMWK – Do you have any other ideas about what sex shouldn’t be in marriage?
Sorry, but if I am upset with my man, unfulfiller, dissatisfied, unhappy….. I won’t do it.
Right, that’s understandable.
That’s the sentiment of most women, but you can only do that for so long before problems are introduced into the relationship. I’m sure he knows when you are upset and not in the mood. We understand there are times when we want to be intimate and our wives don’t. Men just happens to be in the mood more often than women and we can be intimate with our wives even if we are mad or upset. We can and will separate the two which we all know most women can not.
Some women can have sex and be mad, but couples need to communicate honestly about their feelings.
Unhappy at the moment or not you should still try to provide some sort of service to your mate because unfortunately there are too many single women out there that wll.
That should not be. If your spouse threatens you with that, that’s is manipulation
They’ll cheat if they want to cheat. That’s about their lack of character and empathy, not a lack of sex.
Count youself lucky after 30 years of marriage my wife told me she has always hated sex, i cant bring myself to approach her anymore just think about all that time.
What about if i discovered that my husband is a cheat?
Anonymous, you need to have a conversation with your husband.
I wish more women understood this concept, because the lack of sex for most men leads to other issues and problems outside the bedroom. Holding back because you have the power to control sex is wrong and it leads to resentment in relationships, which turns into lack of communication. Women should understand that sex opens the door for other intimate relations with their husband and it allows them to want to continue to do the things we do as men to in order to please our woman. Most men want nothing more but to give our wives everything, to make them happy and please them in every way, but we tend to withdraw when we feel our wives aren’t giving us the same in return. Every relationship is different, but majority of men want and need the intimate relationship with their wives to be healthy and fulfilling. It’s just part of our makeup as men.
Don’t withdraw, talk instead. Find out what’s going on.
I agree with not sharing with friends or family about your sex life. During a couples retreat some of our most intimate details came out, and it was really no ones business to know those things about me and my husband. The trip itself was wonderful and supportive for our relationship. Yet, I spent a long time afterwards feeling awful about others knowing things about us. I have since forgiven myself, him and the situation that placed us there. However, in the future, my couples retreat family can forget us revealing those kind of details. It was unnecessary and not edifying. Others may have felt the same and just not expressed it. Like our marriage counselors told us in premarrital counseling, don’t tell family and friends things about you and your spouse you don’t want them to remind you of later when you are over it. Be blessed. Wonderful article! Thanks so much.
Thanks!
So what if you do not enjoy what your spouse likes but you do it to please him.
Then you need to communicate your feelings and come up with a compromise.