I can remember like it was yesterday, Natasha and I had been married for almost two years at that point. Sex, for most marriages, can be one of the most challenging areas of their relationship. For example, when it comes to a better sex life, there are couples who have different expectations, couples who don’t have enough time for intimacy or couples who are suffering from a lack of desire in both or one partner; the list goes on.
I got a wake-up call when Natasha said to me, “Babe, I want us to have better sex.”
Now, when I heard her say this, as a man, I immediately heard, “more” sex, which in my head I’m like, “Thank you, God!” But that is 100 percent not what she meant. Better sex didn’t mean more sex, it meant more intimate sex.
There are so many reasons why having GOOD sex is important for your marriage, but the consequences of not having sex are REAL. When there is increased anxiety about the marriage, insecurity starts to creep in from the person who wants more intimacy. And, yes, this will open the door to a possible affair.
Sex is God’s invention for couples to share in something they can’t share with anyone else. If someone asked you if a better sex life is a desire for you and your spouse, you most likely will say, “yes.”
But, if we can all be honest, there are many reasons why sex can suffer in our marriages.
Obstacles to a Better Sex Life
1. There’s not enough time to enjoy one another as you desire.
2. You don’t have the money to invest in your marriage through date nights or marriage events.
3. It’s awkward to have a real conversation with your spouse about your sex life, particularly if you are personally embarrassed or if you are afraid of shaming your spouse.
4. Issues outside of the bedroom causing issues in the bedroom (work stress, health issues, relationship issues, etc..)
5. Your spouse doesn’t want to have sex.
Yes, there could be a number of problems impacting your sex life, but, fortunately, I believe there is one easy first step toward a solution.
The secret to better sex is simply making the decision to have better sex.
There are so many distractions and things that can impact your intimacy with your spouse, so you have to draw a line in the sand that you will not allow those things to affect your sex life.
This was the beginning for Natasha and I once she ignited it by her honesty. When both parties are committed to making the marriage better, it should apply to all aspects of the marriage, including the bedroom.
BMWK, seriously, when was the last time you and your spouse talked about how to make your sex life better?
Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on September 22, 2016. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.