This really had nothing to do with BMWK but since one of our writers wrote a popular article that mentioned some of the things she was doing in the show in contrast to what you should look for prior to marriage in a mate it’s only fair that you hear her side of the story.
Kandi is currently featured on Essence.com telling her side of the story. Here is an excerpt:
ESSENCE.COM: Hold up. Did you just say you and AJ are no longer together?
BURRUSS: (Laughs.) We’re on hiatus. He’s a great guy and he’s not the type to sit on his behind like a scrub, so it has nothing to do with that. Yes, he has a lot of children, and yes, I didn’t know about them all at first but I got over it because as long as you handle your responsibility and spend time with your children it’s not an issue for me. Another thing I want to set the record straight on is that AJ was married before. A lot of people make comments like, if he didn’t marry his other children’s mothers then why do you think he’s going to marry you.ESSENCE.COM: When we spoke before you expressed concern about how a separation might affect your daughter. How is she handling your break?
BURRUSS:Things have changed because not only do I have my daughter living with me but now I am the legal guardian of AJ’s 12-year-old twin daughters because his mother felt the responsibility was too much for her right now and she couldn’t handle it anymore. He would have taken them with him, but they needed a strong female role model and wanted to stay with me. Just because AJ and I are together I have accepted them as my children the same way that my stepfather did me when I was their age and he and my mom separated. He continued do things with me as my father throughout my life.
I know you want more so you can click here to read the full article from Essence.com.
Harriet says
it just seems like she’s making excuses for her poor choices to me. it also seems like she’s fighting hard to hold onto smoke and mirrors. i don’t know her mama, but i know AS a mama, if i see my child about to jump off a cliff, my protective instincts would go into overdrive.
i married my husband against my mother’s wishes, and in many respects in the beginning of our marriage, i found she was right about what she warned me about. i thank God she was wrong about the fundamental things, but i said that to say that EVERYBODY can’t be wrong, ms. burruss. there comes a time when the rose colored glasses must come off…preferably before making a lifetime commitment like marriage.
i’m not in her shoes, though. she shouldn’t feel the need to defend him or their relationship all the time. it just seems suspect that she’s so defensive about it. that’s a huge red flag to me.
as far as her moms is concerned, all she can do is pray. that will do more for the situation than running her mouth and belittling her daughter will.
i don’t even think i want to get on the adoption of the twin daughters. that one baffles me, but once again, i’m not in her shoes.
Staycee2 says
Harriet I totally agree with you! But in a nutshell I think she is being gullible and just STUPID!!!!!!!! WTF does she want with him and ALL of his baggage!!!!!!!!!!! I’m sorry, I’m riding with her momma on this one and I don’t even watch the show!!!!!!
Harriet says
I don’t watch the show either, Staycee. Just reading about it makes me wonder if she’s unwilling or unable to pass the common sense test. In an adult world, we can’t afford to allow our feelings and emotions to be the sole force behind the decisions we make. It’s a recipe for disaster!
I just hope she doesn’t have to learn it the hard way like I did. I thank God it worked out for my favor, but if it hadn’t…Lord, have mercy!
African American Mom says
Can I get on the Kandi Help out Plan? My whole family needs a strong female role model.
*batting my sweet little eyes*
LOL!
Is she for real?
Harriet says
AAM, I feel really badly for her, because it’s painfully obvious she can’t see beyond what she deems as love for this man. I just shook my head when the interviewer asked her what AJ did, and she spouted off all these pipe dreams. I would much rather she say he has a consistent position as a cashier or fast food restaurant than all that unfocused foolishness she talked about. A check is a check, no matter how big or small. If he’s going to hustle, he needs to have a consistent gig on the side to augment his dreams until they begin to pay for themselves. Nothing wrong with dreaming, but until those dreams become concrete realities, you still gotta pay the bills.
And a strip club? That’s yet another ingredient to this recipe for disaster. Do you honestly think a strip club manager isn’t “testing” his employees? Really?
SingLikeSassy says
I don’t quite get why his mother was taking care of two of his children (is there mother dead? incarcerated? mentally ill? cracked out?) and now Kandi has picked up where she left off…what the hell is AJ doing while Kandi is raising two of his six children?
SingLikeSassy says
EEK! that’s THEIR mother. Is THEIR mother dead.
athenanike says
@AA Mom: Yanno!
I mean essentially she is taking in some foster kids, which is great … but that they are her ex-fiance kids, is crazy. If he was a stable enough man to consider marrying, why can’t he raise them? They also need a positive male role model i.e. their dad. There are great single fathers out there (though I would not date one, just my pref for us all to be childless). Had he been able to close the deal, they would’ve had her as a mom and been peachy.
I do watch the show, NY Housewives are my fav. I see a pattern AJ and a BF of single NY housewife, Bethenny who wanted to get married and have kids, and he was a divorcee with kids. True, the shows are not about the men, but both were stand offish, not cordial to other housewives, unavailable, AJ texting on cell all the time when on camera. Never a hint of emotional availability. The NY housewife is single again too, go figure. As Harriet said, if different strangers say your breath stink EVERYBODY can’t be wrong.
But she was wise to get out before he got too deep in her pockets, I think Kandi says in the interview it got to where she did not know if she wanted to marry him for him, or to prove her mother wrong.
Anna says
Kandi and AJ need to stay on a permanent hitatus. I am on her moms side. She does not know what she is getting herself into. Having one kid is hard enough but having a hubby with multiple kids(that you did not bore) is another thing. They haven’t known each other long enough to make such a life changing commitment. Her daughter said that his kids will not be her stepbrothers/sisters but friends, if your child is not feeling the blending of a family, I say step back take a breath and listen. Kids not willing to be a blended family will find creative ways to sabatage a marriage. I am not saying let the kids be the parent and run things, but I don’t like choas and some things are avoidable. I am sorry but it’s hard to be the wife and try to compete with the babymama(s). I am not the one. It’s up to the hubby to set boundaries and most with all due respect, don’t know how.
Brittancus says
No more Mr. nice guy from the general public, who must demand that E-Verify becomes a stable, in-perpetuity federal immigration enforcement tool for everybody? No half-measure, but full implementation across the country. For new workers and those who have been payroll forever. Why has it taken so long to coordinate this computer illegal immigrant recognition software? The answer is evidently politicians who have been manipulated by campaign money, special favors from lobbyists. They are like a Monarchy buying and selling favors for distracting the unknowing public from strong enforcement, from the border line and enforcement in the working locations throughout our nation. Significant pieces of law have been reduced to weakened, insufficient laws that do nothing for the American people. The stimulus package was compromised, with no terminology to reduce illegal workers from applying for jobs in construction and other industries.
To me this is premeditated and likewise with public access to health care, because there was no restrictions to identify illegal immigrants in the package. Until yesterday the Democratic committee members realize they had been discovered and added amendments blocking illegal persons from applying, by running their names through Social Security. It’s common knowledge that illegal immigrants receive free treatment in emergency hospitals, which have for decades have been exploited for any minor ailments. The main conspirators within the Democratic leadership are Sen. Harry Reid of Nevada and Nancy Pelosi House Speaker. Both represent states of mass illegal immigration. Reid for his abandonment of the American worker may soon be ousted from office? He was the main contender in the near disintegration of E-Verify. On one hand Democrats saliva over millions of extra votes if another Blanket Amnesty is enacted, while the alternate party status quo are wanting to keep an unceasing supply of illegal labor.
Running scared Pelosi and Napolitano have changed sides and displaying a different attitude towards the millions of jobless Americans, whose work has been appropriated by foreign labor. In many cases large companies have clearly knowingly hired cheap labor, in placement of citizens and legal residents. In ICE raids its positive proof that mega- businesses built their labor force on foreign nationals? Yet the majority of companies isolated themselves from major penalties and only the lesser management was punished. E-verify would have remained non-existent if it was not for the adamant pressure of bloggers comments and articles on the internet that enlivened public attention.
Believe me when I say the bombardment of American voices over the switchboards in a harassed Washington, made a extraordinary difference? THEY ACTUALLY LISTENED and the Special interest organizations couldn’t even delay the courts, in ordering the en-masse contractors and sub-contractors from obeying federal law. Years of neglect by previous administrations on both sides of the aisle, has allowed the unregulated droves of foreign illegal aliens along with families into our neighborhoods. TODAY! RIGHT NOW! We must have millions more bona-fide Americans calling this number 202-224-3121 in the muck hole at the Capitol, really do have the ultimate power of changing things.
For me health care reform is a priority because family members have suffered too long under the umbrella of shady insurance companies, as being declined of pre-existing condition was a factor in my daughters coverage dying of cancer at an early age. But any kind of public health care must not be rationed and must not give access to people who should never entered our country illegally. E-Verify a composite of the SAVE ACT must—NOT–be devalued by the corrupt politicians in the Democratic Party, nor the 287 G. cities, county and state police training to question and apprehend foreign nationals. In conclusion, the President wants to push another path to citizenship for those who came here through the back door? Awarding people for wrongdoing is not in my book?
If it’s anything like the 1986 Simpson/Mazzoli bill it was overloaded with fraud and ended up costing taxpayers billions. New immigrants must come in orderly, signing documentation that they will not be public welfare charges. Without mitigating circumstances anybody who violates this law must be deported.It makes more sense, if such legislation exists in DC to only approve entry visas, for new immigrants with heavily vetted credentials of highly skilled engineers and professional career individuals. After all, they are unlikely to become an unemployed welfare recipient? The 1986 immigration law was intentionally engineered from the beginning, but already contains important factors in enforcement of laws.
Strengthen the same 1986 laws with amendments, instead of starting again. This legislation is already on the books? The truth is that its not broken, but heavily under funded from the beginning and bloated with fraud. Guest worker programs and special visas for skilled tradesman has remained a nemesis. This includes fraudulent partnership of businesses entities, attorneys in hiring agricultural workers for the fields? Many have lied to the government authorities and who have been instrumental in its corrupt notorious character. If new guest workers programs enacted by a Nancy Pelosi’s AGjobs bill are eminent, the applicants must be carefully screened with the knowledge that working visas on expiring, that those individuals must return to their original place of residence. That they cannot qualify for a legal resident visa, nor can America anymore accommodate their family members with chain migration?
Another anomaly is the border fence? It was—NEVER BUILT—to Rep. Duncan Hunters original specs? His short fence expanse in San Diego remains a strong classic example of following the law. Currently along our international border we have a single line fence, not a two tier fence, with a no-mans land for patrolling border patrol vehicles in between. The previous administration shall ever be haunted by the fact they installed a virtual barrier in many places, with malfunctioning cameras, sensors, obsolete vehicle barriers that could easily be maneuvered around, that cost millions of dollars in taxpayers backing. Expenditures to support illegal immigrants through corporate welfare, over generation would leave a trail of hundred dollar bills from Earth to the Moon and back again. We need to repair our collapsing infrastructure, stop the erosion of bridges, tunnels and dams. Even our water supplies are compromised by the irreversible course of OVERPOPULATION
Federal legislation must be written to correct and heavily fine states that promote Sanctuary Alcoves such as Los Angeles and San Francisco. Warning them that no funding will be appropriated who violate federal law, instead of purposely looking the other way.
The majority of these enforcement laws have been weakened, many left to rot in a dormant state at the National Archives. Immigration laws have been compromised time and time again by lobbyists offering favors to our public servants. Facts not fiction can learned at NUMBERSUSA & JUDICIAL WATCH.
nayonowen says
She is down right stupid. Someone please slap her several times. Her responsiblity is to HER child. She needs to focus on that.