A little over a month ago, I opened my life up to the readers and informed them that my husband and I were moving out of our townhouse together and moving back to our respective families: hubby back to his parents and me back to my grandparents. A lot of readers were very upset, insisting that we should live together no matter the circumstances. I heard everyone loud and clear, and further discussed it with my husband, but we concluded that we were going to continue to go through with it.
We are now a little more than a month in to our new living arrangement. It’s been hard, do you hear me? It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Even with only being a little more than 3 miles apart, once you live with someone for almost 2 years, and you establish a covenant and a life together, not being able to be with them every day and every night it’s a real test of your relationship. I know some couples out there feel me, especially military families. However, because our circumstances are much different, the difficulty is different as well.
My father-in-law has insisted that our dog (who lives with me) is not welcomed at their home, so that has made it difficult for me because I don’t like to leave him with my grandparents. My grandparents (mainly my grandma) isn’t big on my dog either, so that has caused a lot of tension. She’s even gone as far as telling my mom that I love my dog more than my husband, amongst other constant negative statements. My mother-in-law can’t understand our living arrangement, and even told my sister-in-law that she hopes this situation does not make our marriage grow stronger.
As for my husband and I, we’ve been doing our best to make the best out of this situation. We try to see each other at least 5 days out of the week. Juggling school with other obligations, we still put our marriage first. We’re in constant communication, and we’ve decided I would spend the night at least 2 nights out the week. We’re using this as time to sort of date again, even if it’s just grabbing a bite to eat with each other. Intimacy, obviously, has drastically dropped since we don’t have our own space, but when we do have the means, we will try to make it a point to schedule some time alone as husband and wife.
This has been a true test of my faith and the strength of our love for each other. It hasn’t been easy at all, but I’m doing my best to see it as a learning experience and a blessing in disguise. This time apart has forced me to really evaluate myself as a person and as a wife. I was so focused on being the best wife I could be that I allowed parts of myself to become lost in my husband. I now have the time to focus on my interests and my health, things I had put on the backburner. I also have finally got my husband to read the 5 Love Languages, something I’ve been begging him to do since we first got married.
Our one year marriage anniversary is coming up next month, and I’m so proud to say that despite our unfortunate circumstances in our first year of marriage, we’re still standing. We will make it through this, and whatever else comes our way.