Men sometimes struggle with leadership in the home because of all of the complexities of a household. Things ranging from blended families, to finances, to career decisions are among the complex issues that need an insightful committee chair and responsible decision maker.
As a coach, I study what good leaders in business bring to the table, because I think it translates well to what leadership in a household should look like. If we have not seen good leadership growing up in a domestic environment, how will we know what leading looks like in our relationships? Following are a few key character traits that are necessary in an effective leader:
Great leaders serve and sacrifice
We can look at leaders such as Dr. King or Mother Teresa who spent years of their lives serving those who mattered to them and being willing to sacrifice everything for the lives of others. The CEO at Japan Airlines took a reduced salary to that of others working on the lines.
Taking it a step farther, he rode the bus to work and actually worked on the lines with those building airplanes. He didn’t have to do that, but he did it to show his employees he was a team member. It’s the same in marriage.
Is there such a thing as sacrifice in the bedroom? Click here to learn of 10 intimacy sacrifices keeping happy married folks…well, happy!
As a leader in my relationship, I have to be willing to do what I ask my wife to do. Keep in mind, it doesn’t matter who makes the most money or works the most hours. If you show you are willing to serve and sacrifice for your wife, she will have your back when you need it most.
Great leaders align strengths to support weaknesses
I worked at a company where we had a leader who learned every facet of the business—sales, service, tech support, manufacturing, logistics, administration, etc. If we had a division for it, he could lead it.
He was one of the best paid and most well respected leaders in our organization, although he rarely held a position for as much as a year. His competence was the fact he could take a struggling or fledgling organization and find the strengths and weaknesses of the personnel and move them around the make the business perform.
As a leader, you want to lead in this way at home. If your wife is a financial guru and you can’t balance a checkbook, it makes sense to let her manage the cash flow.
Our ego should never affect our ability to lead.
If your wife grew up in a garage with her Dad and she can change the oil and turn the rotors, then support her strength and allow her to lead with car maintenance. Find ways to let your spouse do what they do best to support your union.
Great leaders look out for the team first
The success of the organization is the priority of a great leader. Attaining success requires a 30,000 foot view of an organization. The leader has to look at all components of a company to make the best decisions. It’s the same in relationships.
Leaders sometimes have to make tough decisions because of a long range view. If a tough decision (moving, changing careers, etc.) is in the best interest of the goals of the union, then the leader has to make the tough decisions (with compassion) for the good of both spouses.
When we understand our first responsibility is to our marriage, our vision becomes clearer as good leaders and as good husbands.
BMWK men, are you effectively leading your families?