by Harriet Hairston
Sista, you’ve been on my mind…
So…Fantasia Barrino attempted suicide because she was being implicated in an affair with a married man whose wife had had enough. Adultery, no matter what form it rears its head in, is damaging to all parties involved.
Fantasia attempts suicide and spends the night in the hospital with a tube down her throat. Her lover gets put out of his home. The wife is betrayed, and unfortunately, the children are currently living without their father.
That doesn’t sound like the glamor and glitz Hollywood tries to make of indecent acts and proposals, does it? It’s dark like the color purple, but that’s where the similarities end.
I bet you think I don’t know nothing but singing the blues, oh, sista, have I got news for you, I’m something…I hope you think that you’re something, too.
This is not a judgmental diatribe against Fantasia’s lapse of common sense or a gossip session about who’s zooming who. It’s simply an after-school special for all of us, both married and single. The people with the rings on their fingers need to be left alone. The people with the rings on their fingers need to leave folks alone. That’s pretty much the bottom line!
So let me tell you something, sista…remember your name. No twister is going to steal your stuff away!
Fantasia, like many other women, is now forced to carry the baggage of this in her life. Although she may be a bag lady now, I’m sure she’ll be able to let it go and regain her identity and dignity in the long run. She’s full of talent, drive, compassion and zeal. Those talents just need to be focused in the right direction.
In the meantime, let this be a lesson to all of us. All that glitters isn’t gold. The color purple royal, and to keep from singing Miss Celie’s Blues instead of enjoying the fruits of our own lives, we need to apply wisdom to the lesson that Fantasia–unfortunately–learned the hard way.
God bless!
~ Harriet
I def. agree. We are seeing this happen more and more and hopefully we can learn from other peoples mistakes. Praying for Fantasia.
Can it get any more plain. The people with rings need to leave people alone and people need to leave the people with rings alone. That's one of the reasons that I suppose that we wear these rings. It identifies us. But that is also the problem. It identifies us.
For some reason at times these rings act as magnets to people who feel like because you are already committed then you are the “commitment type.” That's unfortunate. But the drama that ensues is much more than it's ever worth. I think we've all seen it too many times.
I do pray that all parties involved are able to recover.
This is the kind of thing people need to think about BEFORE they start an affair…it ain't so fun on the other side!
I know women who wear wedding/engagement rings and are not even married.(never even been engaged). I know men who don't wear their wedding ring and are married. There are some people who still wear their wedding ring long after their spouse passed away. If you are married wearing a ring or not does not make you any less married.
As far as Fantasia, sometimes with people it's hard to go from “rags to riches” if you have a gift and it equals financial gain, above your wildest dreams and you don't have the right people in your corner, but with their hand out, you can and will be easily taken advantage of. What happened to the days of a “Mistress, being a Mistress? Now the mistress of a celeb gets to have their own reality show, Playboy shoot and an advice column. N/M. it has been reported that Tiger paid mistress # 1 $10 million. After that all 14 followed to be in the lime light. You really can't steal another persons spouse, either way it's not a good look. Sandra B's husband was married to the girl next door and all his ex's look like my cartoon section of my Sunday paper w/ all their tatts.
Great Post Harriett! Well said! Praying for Fantasia's daughter! People act with no regard to the people they are going to affect in their circle!! I'm just sayin….
Meant to say “effect”!
Frankly I am more disgusted with both Fantasia and “theMan”
Fantasia has a child who loves her and needs her. She tried to let go of her life for a MAN? Her child deserved more than that!!!
Mr. Man you are wrong…you broke the tie that binds you…you left your wife AND kids alone and defenseless…you made a promise to guide your family. Ofcourse, Fantasia wanted you BUT you should have resisted. Unmarried people often see what marrieds have and they are attracted,but the person who is married needs to show SELF CONTROL and resist. Frankly I can't see any woman wanting you once they know you are a weak black man.
Here is my concern I’m a married mother of two and I too see the wrong that was here but I can’t attack Fantasia (not yet) right now I’m still seeing her as the victim in this episode. No one but Fantasia and this man knows the lies that was told, and come on Fantasia is not the first nor will she be the last to fall for the lies of a man.
Fantasia has been took advantage of a lot by people that she gives her heart too and instead of us as women attacking her for believing that this man was no longer with his wife or any other lies that he may of told, lets come together and pray for her strength.