This “work” is necessary for your personal growth and the health of your relationship. By yielding your desires and preferences to someone else, you are purging yourself of some selfish ways that are detrimental to you and your relationship. You are also increasing God’s grace…such as being more thoughtful, caring, and considerate towards others. A relationship or marriage can require you to use measures of grace, the likes of which you’ve never experienced but for your mate extracting them from you. Even though it might not be the most pleasurable process, it yields the greatest benefit to you and your relationship.
Just like Jesus, who didn’t want to sacrifice himself when he asked the Father “if it be possible, let this cup pass from me…”?, He resolved, “nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” (Matt 26:39 ESV). I bet what Jesus really wanted to do was snatch those nails out the cross, jump down, and slay everybody that had been beating him for the past several hours…especially that bama who shanked him in his side (or maybe that’s just me???). But he didn’t. Why? Because he chose to sacrifice his own preference for the benefit of others.
A husband and wife are supposed to operate the same way. They should be mutually sacrificing and compromising their own natural preferences for the other person’s benefit…regardless if their mate reciprocates in turn. In so doing, each person grows personally and spiritually…and sees the positive results of being a more patient, kinder, more considerate, and more understanding person. You are, in fact, being more like Jesus. And this is one of God’s purposes for marriage.
This might seem risky, scary, or down-right impossible for some. If it sounds like too much work…and you can’t see yourself doing it…then it’s best for you to stay on the single-side of the broom. Because if you get married and still retain your single-ways, somebody is going to be very miserable and frustrated…either you, your mate, or both of you (can I get an amen from those that know what I’m talkin’ bout’?).
BMWK – What kind of “WORK” do you have to do in your relationship?
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