Are you active in your marriage, or is it just a relationship status? Are you engaged with your spouse, or did that all go out the window with “I do”? Are you listening to your wife or do you just hear her? Are you talking to your husband or talking at him? Wake up, ladies and gentlemen. It’s time to occupy your marriage. Regardless of what you may think of the Occupy protests going on not only across the country but around the globe, we can learn about what it takes to truly fight for your marriage.
Demands of Occupy Your Marriage
Divorce is a last resort! Too many couples are so quick to throw out the D word when things don’t go their way. If you’re going to be with someone for the rest of your lives, there are going to be moments where you both don’t see eye to eye. Mistakes will be made, and you’ll go through some hard times. Divorce should never be the first option””it should always be the last. Vow to try to fix problems together, and if need be, seek help from a counselor, your pastor, or marriage support group.
Teamwork makes the dream work! Relationships should never be any other percentage but 100/100. Both parties should be giving their all, putting their heart and soul into the relationship. Working together is the only way your marriage will succeed. If someone’s slacking off, let them know. Don’t make decisions by yourself. Work together for little things such as keeping the house cleaned and the bills paid, to bigger things like raising your children and handling hardships. This is not only your mate; this is your partner.
Learn to compromise! This may seem like we’re beating a dead horse, but you’d be surprised how many couples are still so stubborn and set in their ways. Stop being a brat, stop pushing your beliefs, and come to an agreement, a compromise, that you can both live with. You may feel strongly about something, and your spouse might feel strongly about something. Find a middle ground, and work it out. I’m not saying give in and I’m not saying run a guilt trip. Compromise will get you through.
Communicate in more ways than one! Communication is one key to a successful marriage. It’s not just verbal. Think about how you communicate to your spouse using body language too. Are you giving them the cold shoulder? Are you using all 5 of your senses? Are you loving your spouse in their love language? Your communication will always need to be on point.
Keep no record of wrongs! How long have you been holding on to that grudge? Let it go! The Bible says love keeps no record of wrongs, so if you told your spouse you forgive them, you should not continue to bring up whatever wrong they did in a future argument. Reaching back for something old that happened is not okay. If you’re truly not over it, say that, and work through it together. But if you forgive them and say you’re over it, be about it, and leave it in the past. Keeping a record of wrongs will lead to resenting your spouse.
Are you ready to occupy your marriage? Do you have additional demands?
Niambi says
Wow! Your first sentence “Are you active in your marriage or is it just a relationship status?” speaks volumes…
Briana Myricks says
So many people allow “married” to just be something they check off on applications or to put up on Facebook, meanwhile they’re not active in their marriage. Hopefully we can change that!
Jen Lawrence says
This article is soooooo on point! Keeping no record of wrongs is essential. I’ll admit I’ve brought up past events in an argument and I’m working on it. It’s only when I’m trying to prove a point though… NOT to be malicious. I definitely think that we need to occupy our marriage and not be so quick to give up on it! I was on Twitter debating not too long ago if marriage is becoming obsolete. The question was brought up if there should be contracts to reevaluate the commitment every 2-5 years like leasing a car. I was surprised by how many people were for it saying it wold comfort them to know that if things are going south in a few years, they can just let it go! Ummm… I had a HUGE problem with that! So I responded “I guess we should just nix the “Til Death Do Us Part” in the vows” because at that point it would mean nothing. That’s just my opinion.
I know the marriage rate in America has decreased over the years but, I don’t think it’s becoming obsolete. People are making choices to wait longer and for some being single isn’t all that bad and they are living happily single BUT… there is no weapon against love so if you jump the broom and take those vows I definitely think occupying your marriage is a MUST! You’ve got my mind going and I just forwarded this article to my husband. 😉 Thank you!
Briana Myricks says
Thanks Jen! It’ll take some time to not bring up past things. We’re not perfect; we’re all works in progress. I heard about the contract thing too, and I was mortified. Marriage is a convenant that should be taken seriously. To treat it as a temporary engagement is just ridiculous. Married people may become the minority, but we’ll certainly keep doing what we have to do. I hope your husband enjoys this article too 🙂
Roni Idom says
LOVE IT! I feel like you right about things I always seem to recently discovered in my own Marriage! Bravo
Briana!
Briana Myricks says
Thanks Roni!
Tiya says
Love it! I completely agree about being active, the teamwork and communication! Well said
Briana Myricks says
Thanks Tiya!
Karam Tascoe says
I would say that divorce should be no option unless your life is in danger, especially if children are invloved. But I do love the article.
Trina says
WOW!!!! Your article is on point!! I Love it!!!