Our children want to be like us. Even if we don’t have it all together, they look at our lives, see how we live them, and often decide that they want the same. We are the people they admire most in the world. We serve as their model for what life after childhood can be like.

And as parents, we do our best to expose our little ones to opportunities that can help them create the best possible lives. We want them to have the best experiences and the very best education. And even if our resources are limited, we hustle to give them access to anything that can make life for them a little bit better than it was for us. Indeed, we try to give them everything they need to become happy, well-adjusted adults.

There is one huge problem, though, with what so many of us are doing. We are solely focused on their experience, forgetting the fact that at a young age, they are greatly focused on ours. They look to see if we are happy. They wonder why our days leave us feeling drained and unfulfilled. They grow concerned about what causes us stress and prevents us from being present when we are around them. And as they grow up and gain some life experience, they are baffled by why we are not pursuing our dream—why we are focused only on their happiness and rarely on our own.

As parents, we typically have the best intentions, but we all must know that intentions and actions are very different. We may intend for our kids to have the best, but fail to realize that letting our own dreams fall by the wayside sets a damaging example. Now of course, despite neglecting your own passions, your kids will grow up to immensely appreciate every sacrifice your made for them. But they will also grow up without an example of what it means to honor the passion you have within. They need to know that you didn’t neglect your dreams to raise them. They need to know that they inspired you to create a happy life, which means pursuing your dreams.

As parents we need to stop looking at our entire parenting journey as a season of sacrifice.

Of course, sacrifices must be made—that certainly is a part of the journey. But the journey itself is not one big sacrifice. The journey should be filled with joy, laughter and the pursuit of your personal dreams. The journey should be used as an opportunity to show your children that you didn’t let the passion within you die because of parenthood. Rather, you let parenthood ignite your passion in an effort to show your kids that anything is possible.

By doing this one thing—keeping your dreams alive—you are impacting your children in such a profound way. We have to stop making excuses. We have to realize that the struggle is real, but if we focus on what we are truly capable of doing and go for it, the struggle will pay off. Our kids will see that and love us deeply for for showing them how much is possible.

 BMWK family, will your children be able to say you lived your dreams?