In my coaching practice, I often come across couples who don’t know how to communicate or even how to get along. I guess I come to expect that lots of couples have hurdles to overcome. But, recently it broke my heart to learn that three of my associates decided that their particular hurdles weren’t worth the fight and called it quits. Of course I wish I had known and was given the opportunity to support and assist. But, I can’t help but to wonder if they had people in their lives that encouraged their marriage. I’m talking about people that were close enough to push them to try harder. The kind of people that didn’t pry and keep confusion going, but who were friends of the marriage. How many times have we heard that it takes a village to raise a child? Well, we need that same village to support our marriages. Today, it is too easy to walk away. Some of us have friends and family who are quick to say “girl you don’t need him” or “she’s just holding you back”?
When what we should be hearing is “Girl, have you really given this marriage your all?” or “You should really try and work this out”. How many friends and family do you have in your circle that will say that to you? It is crucial that we surround ourselves with people who believe in marriage. People who can see the big picture; that healthy marriages produce healthy families and healthy families produce healthy individuals.
BMWK, how do you support your other married friends? Do you encourage them to work through or walk away? How do others support your marriage?
By Tiya Cunningham-Sumter, a certified Life & Relationship Coach, founder of Life Editing Personal Coaching Service, creator of the Black Wives’ Club and an Administrator of Still Dating My Spouse. She lives in Chicago with her husband and two daughters.