Children are such a joy. Despite the craziness each day can bring, I can’t imagine life without my two kids. They fill my heart up in a major way. But, like most parents, I have moments when I struggle. I wonder if I am making the best decisions or if something I am doing today will cause my kids damage in years to come.

These doubts and questions don’t mean I am a bad mom. They simply mean I am human. When you are given the responsibility of raising children, it’s not something that should be taken likely.

Related: 5 things you should never do in front of your kids, especially if you don’t want them doing it!

Like most parents, raising my kids is one of the most important factors in my life. I make most of my life decisions with them in mind. And although I mess up from time to time, the love I have for my children is immeasurable.

I’ve realized that God didn’t bless us with children so we can raise them without making any mistakes. God knows we are all flawed. Our job is to love our children and give them our best. It’s what they want and need. Embracing our imperfections as parents is so important.

Children don’t need perfect parents. Children need to be love and nurtured. Children need to be given the opportunity to thrive.

As a parent, there will be moments when you feel like you want things to be easier. There will be moments where you wonder if you are doing things well. Those are the moments where we need to find the time to be still. When doubt creeps in, we have to ask ourselves what’s at the root of those feelings.

The questions below can help transform your life as a parent. Having good intentions is a great thing, but we have to give ourselves the space to be introspective so we can address what impacts our parenting styles and we can do to improve as parents.

Here are 9 questions to help transform your life as a parent?

• Do you need to work through any lingering issues you still have with your own parents?
• Do you see your children for who they are or who YOU want them to be?
• Are you pursuing your personal dreams or putting them aside because of your children?
• Are you parenting in a way that works best for you, or are you just repeating what you saw growing up?
• Are you allowing the stress in your life to negatively impact your parenting style?
• Do you disagree with some of the things your partner does as a parent but you refuse to discuss them because the conversation never goes anywhere?
• Are you open to learning how to become a more compassionate and effective parent through workshops, books, and other resources?
• Are you truly present when you are with your kids, or distracted by all the noise in your life?
• Are you able to take your mistakes and the mistakes of your children and turn them into teachable moments?

These questions won’t transform your life overnight, and they certainly won’t make this parenting journey easy. However, they should give you reason to pause and reflect.

Parenting is not about getting things right all the time. Rather, this journey called parenthood is about learning the lessons along the way, making pivots when we need to, and letting our kids know that despite out biggest mistakes, we love them deeply.

Take some time to reflect on these 9 questions. If they don’t apply to you, move on to the next one. But when you hit a question that strikes a cord—one that touches your core—don’t ignore the feelings you have. Those feelings mean this is an area you need to work on.

Never underestimate the power of self-awareness. Just know that something comes up for you can begin the process of transformation, and when you begin to transform who you are as a parent, your children benefit in countless ways.

BMWK family, what questions have you asked yourself that have led to better parenting?