BMWK: What advice would you give to couples who want to start and grow a business together?

Mario: One of the things I think they should really do is to stop faking themselves that they can make this thing work: that they have this beautiful relationship so therefore, they’re going to have this beautiful business. That is such a blurred vision and approach to starting a business with someone. You really have to lay out each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Be honest and lay it all out.

Nicole: To his point, as a couple you have to realize how you handle things personally when you’re upset or can’t agree on a subject? If you’re not problem solvers personally as a couple, that’s going to be a problem for you professionally. Do you walk around with an attitude for 2-3 days after an argument? You just can’t run a business like that so don’t put yourself in that position.

Mario: Don’t do it or you’ll ruin your marriage and your business. How do you deal with your attitude towards your partner in conflict situations? If you can’t separate it, that stuff spills over into the business. Just let the one spouse go do it and the other one be supportive.

Nicole: The advantage we had is we were married seven years before we did this venture. Since we both had strong careers, we had figured out how to separate personal from professional. So when we launched our business, it was pretty simple for us. If we have an argument in the morning about personal matters, we shut off from that when it’s time to deal with the business. The two don’t even mix with each other.

Mario: It’s not easy to do. There are times when I feel like I don’t want to get on a conference call with her right now [laughs]. We don’t like to argue, we like to get things resolved. But you have to compartmentalize it.

The other thing is that Nicole is very strong about separation from the bedroom and the boardroom.There was a time I’d have the laptop in the bed and I was just going, going, going. But it’s not healthy for the marriage to go like that. I tell people all the time: from 9-5 you work to make a living, but from 5pm-9am you work to make history. So I understand at night time, that’s your time to go in. But that doesn’t mean you have to do it in the bedroom [laughs].

That separation is especially important. As a couple, you have to establish boundaries. Now I have a pen and pad by the bedside so when I think of ideas, I just write it down. Now she’ll ask me the next morning, so what was that idea you had last night? [laughs]

BMWK: How do you keep your marriage exciting and stay connected?

Nicole: We try to make sure we have date night, maybe once every other week where we’re completely shut down. It could be us in the basement with some blankets and some great wine, watching a movie. We absolutely make sure we try to do things together. It’s hard but we’re trying to make sure that quarterly, we’re taking little weekend trips somewhere, even if it’s just one night. That’s important in any relationship.

Mario: Yeah that’s part of it. Being able to spend quality time together is key. I’m the one that pushes hard on it. For me, a lot of it is mental. So I need to actually break away from the environment that I’m in most of the time so that I can disconnect myself.

You have to want the relationship to flourish. People are raising kids, running business, chasing kids after school. You can’t get lost in so much of the day to day, that you are always pushing things to the side so that you start to lose that connection. We’ve had to had these conversations ourselves. We’ve had times when we’ve told each other we felt really distant from each other.

Nicole: We also make sure we have disconnected meal time together with no phone or technology. So we sit down and make a habit of eating dinner together all of the time. As long as everyone is home, we are eating dinner and breakfast together. We’ll get up extra early if we have to, and eat breakfast before we take our son to school. It’s those little things that are so important.

It’s equally important to have relationships outside of your marriage. I’m a big supporter of women having their girl time. It makes me a better woman, wife and mother to be able to have that time. I need my girl time. It’s not even up for discussion because it’s a necessity for me to function and get that break.

Mario: Another thing is to outsource as quick as you can afford to do it and that means personal as well as business. If you’re not getting quality family time and you can afford it, pay to get your house cleaned so you feel like your space is comfortable and decluttered. If you can get someone to do your laundry, pay them. Write down the most redundant things you do on a weekly basis, and then identify what (of those things) you can get someone else to do for you. What you need back is time.