My article, Preparing To Become A Wife – 10 Tips For Single Women, gave great tips for wives-to-be and inspired me to sit down and write out my thoughts on preparing to become a husband. In no way am I proclaiming perfection in any of these areas. But like any relationship, you have to work hard on the positives in order to become an ideal partner.
Preparing to Become a Husband – 10 Tips for Single Men
In this article:
- Develop an intimate relationship with God
- Be faithful
- Plan together
- Constantly remix your love language
- PDA is much more than being “hands-on”
- Be a R.E.A.L. man
- Make sure your roots are solid
- Adapt to your new environment
- Be a leader
- Pray out loud
Prior to my marriage, I would’ve never been able to construct a list like this and I hope my experiences can influence someone to develop positive habits prior to saying “I do.” Don’t take preparing to become a husband lightly. Use these tips as a guide to building a solid foundation in your union.
1. Develop An Intimate Relationship With God
You cannot enter into a successful covenant with a wife if you don’t first have one with God. Seek biblical wisdom, study the word, develop a life of prayer and be dedicated to living for God. This will strengthen the marriage covenant when God allows you to walk into that season. A three-cord strand is not easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
2. Be Faithful
Being faithful isn’t just restricted to being a “one-woman man.” You have to be faithful in every aspect of your marriage. Be faithful in the way you budget your finances as well as the time you spend with your wife and family. Your wife will always respect you when she’s able to trust you to be faithful to the life that you’re trying to live together.
3. Plan Together
Your wife is counting on you to have a realistic vision for the rest of your lives. Your marriage should include goals and a purpose that you two can openly discuss and achieve together. For example, if you two are planning to buy a house, how are you going to do that? To get the ball rolling, try writing down some short-term goals and post them on the fridge. When a goal is achieved you should acknowledge and celebrate it together.
4. Constantly Remix Your Love Language
Your wife will appreciate your creativity when it comes to showing her how much she means to you. Remember to date your wife and always keep her guessing when it comes to how you show her that you love her. Get clever with the gift giving and remember that even though it’s the thought that counts they can always tell just how much thought went into a gift.
5. PDA Is Much More Than Being “Hands-On”
Express your feelings for your wife in public often. PDA is more than just locking arms or lips at the mall. When you’re around your friends give compliments to your wife, praise her cooking, her outfit, or how proud you are of her recent accomplishment. Use social media to tell your wife and the world how much she means to you. (I love you @lcnurse10).
6. Be a R.E.A.L. Man
Realize that you have a responsibility to set the standard of living inside your household.
Earn the right to call yourself a man by displaying Godly standards of headship.
Always put your marriage first.
Love unconditionally and eternally.
7. Make Sure Your Roots Are Solid
Having deep roots makes you dependable and gives your wife assurance. Be rooted in your faith, marriage, and job. Your wife should know how dedicated you are. Having deep roots will show that you are committed and reliable even during adversity. The trees that survive a storm are the trees with the deepest roots. As your roots deepen, your branches will grow and you will bear nothing but good fruit.
8. Adapt To Your New Environment
When you’re married the adjustment from the single or dating life can be a challenge. You’re going to be spending more time (a lot more) with your wife than with your friends. Leaving your gym shoes in the middle of the floor might have been ok at your bachelor pad but with marriage comes new rules on household etiquette. Adapting smoothly into married living will make your wife more comfortable and ease any nervous feelings that she may have. Discuss with your wife on how your household should be run. This will help alleviate future arguments.
9. Be A Leader
As a husband, it is imperative that you demonstrate the characteristics of a good leader. You must be patient enough to listen, confident enough to decide, and worthy enough of submission. If you don’t have the right answers, seek them out. If you can’t find the right answers, ask for help. Your wife is your helpmate and her opinion and input are just as important as yours. All decisions should not be left up to you alone. Tag-team often on problem-solving and decision making with your wife. Be a president and not a dictator.
10. Pray Out Loud
Here’s a quick secret: one of the sexiest things you can do is randomly grab your wife by the hand and say, “Let’s pray.” Having a bold prayer life shows your wife that you’re not the end-all-be-all and that though you are the head of the house you still answer to a higher calling. Your willingness to pray out loud will inspire and increase the faith of your entire family.
What tips would you add to the list for single men?
Up Next:
Editor’s Note: BMWK originally published this post on January 17, 2012. We have updated it for quality and relevancy.
This is great info, but I expected tips for single men PREPARING to become husbands. These tips seem more fit for men who are already husbands. Some of them can be applied by single men, but the title seems misleading IMO.
It also seemed to me as it was talking to those whom are already husbands, but if one thinketh, they becometh…with that said, if they are already thinking of being a husband then so shall they become.
https://lovingmychaos.com
great points. number 1 and 7 stuck out to me the most. although i am single i do realize the importance of having a strong relationship with God not only as it pertains to marriage but in all aspects of my life. also, when it comes to women they seek assurance and dependability a lot more than we realize.
Love it. Great job Mykal. It’s very mature.
I agree with Dr. Michelle. Great job Mykal!
Oh, this ABSOLUTELY applies to both single and married men! For the single men, exercising these principles will put you LEAPS and BOUNDS ahead in terms of how much of a strong START your marriage has in the beginning. It is MUCH more difficult to gain the skills AFTER you have been not executing these principles in the marriage and are battling with the day to day life issues that life will naturally deal out to your marriage and life together.
I can honestly tell you that, after almost 16 years of marriage, the fact that my husband has opted to incorporate PRAYING OUT LOUD and PRAYING WITH me, his wife, is one of the most intimate and affectionate and STRONG things he could have chosen to do. He did NOT always do that and it had definate repercussions in the marriage. It gets my attention as a woman and I love him for it. As a woman of faith, I have a DEEP expectation that he will assume the position as PRIEST and Leader in the home and when he does, it raises the respect levels to very high places when he steps up and assumes the lead both in physical and spiritual realm.
Thank you so much for this article. I have a deep heart for marriage and family issues and you are VERY much on point with this.
RichFlirt.ORGdiscard your single life
Learn to be a provider. If u r not able to provide, dont get married.
great read. it is important to prepare for your next course of action in life. i dont know about anybody else but I dont want to wait till I am married to discover my first thing about being a wife. I know that I wont know everything but going in I want to know some things and I would hope husband would do the same.
Great info! Men must also understand that u also should be a provider. If u cannot provide dont get married.
I think it’s good for women to read also. When they find a man with these attributes they know they have a good one.
This was a great, insightful read. As a single, this article is definitely assisting the process of settling my mind in a place that Marriage could fit in. Thanks you for sharing.
Stay blessed
one tip i would give is to really understand who you are marrying. know her and accept her understanding that she is a person who is likely to spend a lot of time getting on your nerves. and the rest of the time you are likely to get on hers.
neither of you is perfect so relax on being judgmental
Awesome!!! Couldn’t have said it better, All of these things should be in play while you are single, it would show a woman that she can trust you to be a God fearing husband. The information is ofcourse written for men who are wlaready husbands too so that they may add some of these things to their repetoire as they grow:)
Sad when your ex failed on more than half of the points listed. YET enlightening and food for the next venture…if taken!!
This article fell a little short…it’s all good … We future husbands need all the help we can get.(so kudos). I think it missed the mark just a little bit, and not in a relationship. But I have a lot of lady friend and BFF that want to get married or contemplating the thought. A women/WIFE needs and expect a whole lot more. You know you can’t stop at 10. When speaking of a man’s role it has to be a creative collaboration with a women present to proofread and edit a article like this, you may have to bring yo mama and granny too. A wife today is a prefect combination of brains and beauty. A man will have to constantly change in order to keep up with today women. This may work to get a woman, but will you be able to keep woman. God help us all…Bonafide bachelor. Peace, db
Those are just some of the inside pointers and its crazy how much u dont realize the responsbilities as a man and woman we fall short but kbowing that can be a great start
I feel any advice to any man being married or not is priceless, this was great knowledge ,and hope men have an open ear to this.
List was great, but I agree with the above post as the title being misleading. Tips were more in line with those who are married, not singles. I was really looking forward to reading this post and compare with one focusing on single women. Dissappointed that it was not single-focused.
Wow! that’s an awesome helpful information….for us single men as well!
Wow, that was a breath of fresh air. I believe black men are more than capable of this.
This is not for single men!! These are tips for married men. Smh.
If I had known at least half of these things BEFORE I got married a lot of barriers and problems that I faced in the beginning of my marriage would’ve been much easier to endure or overcome. It’s my hope that single men read this article and begin to have a mindset and open up about how they plan on having a successful marriage.
Great value points. will share with all.
So Atheists can’t prepare to become good husbands?
This is great advice and I will definitely hold on to this great piece of information.
This is excellent advice, regardless of your ethnic or racial heritage!