The other weekend as my daughter made her way to me after getting picked up from Children’s Church by her daddy she excitedly began telling me what she learned and how much fun she had. The excitement could be felt in her voice as she gave an account on how she had spent the last hour or so of her morning. She then shared with me that she had made a new friend. Her friend was 10 and had an iPod touch. She continued noting that her friend had an Instagram account and had given her Instagram name after taking a photo of the two of them.
These days nothing is private and with social sharing of photographs constantly occurring it’s very likely that our photos are floating around in a few places unbeknownst to us. And now that children, my daughter’s age, have iPods, iPhones, and other forms of technology in their possession they are doing some social networking on their own.
My daughter has my old iPhone and laptop but when she has it in her possession, despite the phone not being activated, we monitor her very closely. Several of her friends have an Instagram account (I also have one) and she wants one too, but I just don’t feel like she’s ready. Although accounts can be made private, I worry about the potential repercussions that can come out of allowing my eight year old to have access to what would appear to be a harmless way of sharing photos.
So here we are age eight, an age when requests for technology devices increase along with the desire to have the same things friends have, whether that is a cell phone or an Instagram account. So far my husband and I are saying no and we are sticking to it. I feel like there are so many things trying to pull my daughter away from the innocence that comes with being a child. I happen to be “friends” with some of her friends on Instagram and I know their parents are good about monitoring them, but for now I’d like to encourage my little one to be little. I want her to play, to draw, and to take in all the wonder that comes with being eight. Cell phones and social networks will come, eventually.
BMWK — What about you, do you allow your children any access to social network sites like Instagram and if not, at what age do you think it’s most appropriate?
I feel you on the early social media request of the kids. My daughter is also 8 and now requesting iPads (when she used to request barbies). I also worry about the attention seeking culture our children are growing up in where people will do just about ANYTHING for more LIKES, FOLLOWS, SUBSCRIBERS and COMMENTS.
She need to go thru a few lessons on SELF WORTH before we allow her to get those kinds of social media privileges (it might take a while(^;)
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You raise an excellent point with regards to attention seeking. Self worth is so important, in my opinion, especially important for our girls.
As I read your article and think about many of my friends who have young children I cannot help but think that society(or our generation) has gotten so far away from the idea of teaching our children the aspect of deferred gratification. I am 49 with a 22 year old son. During my child rearing years I brought forth many of the teachings that I encountered when I was child from my own parent. Too often we are bombarded with the notion that ideologies from the past are considered “old school”. Every generation has the thought that the previous generations ideals are considered outdated. Solid values tend to withstand the test of time, they build character they help us grow into individuals. Individuals who become thinkers and not followers. Of which, many of us older folk didn’t realize until later. Yes, we are now living in a technological age that is only continuing to expand, as parents (my opinion) we have to constantly consider there is both a time and place for all things (old school). Am I the only person that got “you need to have something to look forward to” from my parent. What do our children have to look forward to? I remember that I couldn’t wait to go to certain parties,wear makeup/ heels/ hair color the latest gear, etc. Of course it all pales in comparison to what children think is important today, nontheless each generation had the same “pale in comparison” to the next generation. Social media, instagram, tweeter, ipads and cell phones “all time and place things” (again my opinion) are young adult to adult enterainment, not for a 5 or 10 yr old, there are similar markets geared to that group. There is so much time for grown up stuff. Social interactions at this age are face to face, and social media should not be the medium. I understand that peer pressure is great and all children want to have or do what their “friends” are doing, but I also remember my mother letting me know in no uncertain terms “I am not their parent, so my concern isn’t what they’re allowed to do”….I’m just trying to say it’s important for our children to be exposed and aware of the “themes” of the day, but more precedence given for life lessons that build character and self worth….well that’s my soap box banter and again only my opinions. Thanks for reading, sorry for length. I assure you the gratitude comes for both you and the child, when as young adult’s they discuss their viewpoints of the world/peers with what they had been taught at home. 🙂
Thank you for taking the time to write your comment. No need to apologize. We love that you desire to engage in some sort of dialogue with us! You are right there is so much time for grown up stuff. I just wish we realized that before becoming grownups. Social media will be there I’m sure. Our focus should be on character building. That is something that I also place a lot of importance on. And yes, self worth, because that will remain regardless of how many “likes” you get on Facebook or Instagram 🙂 Thanks again for sharing!
It looks like you have pictures of you and your family (daughter included) on your instagram above. I’d like to know how that is better (or safer )than your daughter having an instagram of her own. DISCLAIMER: I’m in complete agreement with the meat and veggies of this post; this is not an attack of any sort, just a thought.
I anticipated a comment like yours and do appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I do have an instagram as noted in the post as well as a blog and do share photos of my family. I personally don’t feel my daughter is ready to have an instagram account of her own. While I share some things via photo there are things that I don’t share. She might struggle with what is and isn’t ok to share. For example she might take a photo of her and her friends and post it. When I take photos of her and her friends even in the event of her birthday party I get permission from the parents before posting it anywhere. They may not all feel comfortable having me share a photo that has their children in it. Also she might post photos of her school or other “private” information that I don’t share via social media. Additionally on instagram she has the ability to access other people’s photos and some of them are not appropriate for children to see (we also monitor what she watches on television and watch her when she is using the internet). As she gets older it will be harder and harder to monitor what she is able to see but right now when she is in my care I still can. There are lots of things that we parents have that our children want but that doesn’t mean that it is appropriate for them to have it just yet. ASIDE from the whole safety issue is the fact that I just want her to focus on being little while she still can. I want her to spend less time seeing who liked her photos or trying to connect with friends online and spend more time playing and enjoying her friends in real life. For now she can leave the picture taking to me 🙂
I take it that she doesn’t struggle at all with her pics on mom’s instagram. I’m thinking if my mom had an instagram and she put pics up of lil ol’ me, I’d much rather her place them in an old school paper photo album, if I were that concerned with privacy.
And although the other half wouldn’t be embarrassed, they wouldn’t shout it
from the rooftops. Usually when you terminate your
membership, the dating website asks you why you left.
Keep your head and wits about you, stay open, and remember
that regardless of what a man who doesn’t know you thinks, you are a special,
lovely woman who deserves love.