Dating today can be one of the most challenging things to do, which is why many people opt out of dating and just wait for the person to show up on the front door. Well, if that is your plan, then stop questioning why you’re still single.
Before I met my wife, she admitted she was once in that phase prior to us meeting online. She said, “Wow, I’m so glad I got over thinking that my future husband would be sent by God to my front door”.
Yes, dating is not a sin and is one of many ways to get to know a person for the potential of a serious relationship. The Latin word for date actually stems from data, which we know means gathered information. So the purpose of a date is to simply gather data about a person.
When you (the woman) are asked to go out on a date or you (the man) ask someone out on a date, here are three questions and conversations you should have on that first date to help you gather the right data.
1. What is your story?
This is a great way to learn about a person’s history but also to learn what part of their past has shaped them into who they are now. Understand: your date won’t likely share with you their deep dark secrets on the first date, but they should be able to summarize some of the major events of their life. This will also give you the opportunity to see what things are important to them. Listening intently is so important when a person is telling you their story. Know when to interject in order to make it more conversational and seem less like an interview.
2. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
This conversation is a bit more direct than the usual, “what do you want to do with your life” question, which can be a bit intimidating in most scenarios. When you narrow it down to one specific goal, you can get what they want to do in life in a nutshell. Anyone who has an ounce of ambition will have at least one goal they are pursuing. A that one goal can tell you a lot about a person.
3. What’s your favorite way to spend a day off from work?
This is a fun question in order to now gather more information on what they like to do as hobbies. This conversation could lead into talking about food, sports, friends or any other light-hearted conversation that’ll keep the date flowing smoothly but also provide some perspective.
Dating can be fun when you are prepared and purposeful about what you want the date to accomplish. Dating isn’t about falling in love. But it is about gathering enough data to determine if there is a capacity for that person to love you and vice versa.
BMWK, what questions do you normally ask on a first date?