Have you ever had a friend who seems to be in love with the idea of being in love (but not so much with the actual person she is dating)? Are you that friend?

So what’s the problem with that?

Well, when you’re more in love with the idea of a relationship than the actual person you are in a relationship with, then you’re in store for a host of problems. When you finally admit the warning signs (and exit signs) that you’ve been ignoring all this time, you’ll look up a realize you were in the wrong relationship for far too long.

The saddest part about being in the wrong relationship is settling when you shouldn’t have to. I know it’s tough because sometimes people don’t even realize the relationship they are in is completely wrong.

And being in the wrong relationship doesn’t mean you’re with a bad person. It simply means you are with someone who isn’t right for YOU. We all have unique needs and wants, and settling to be with someone who can’t meet those needs, will never turn out well.

Plus, we all should be with someone who will treat us with the love, respect and support we deserve. Anything less means we’ve chosen the wrong guy or girl. And I should mention that being in love is not enough to justify staying with someone. Being in love doesn’t mean you are in the right relationship. Love is not enough. We all need more than love to sustain a healthy, long-lasting relationship—the right relationship.

So if you are reading this, wondering if you are where you should be or if the relationship you’re in is all wrong, read on for five signs that you are in the wrong relationship.

Something feels out of place
Never underestimate the power of a strong gut feeling. When your intuition tells you that something is off, it probably is. Don’t ignore that. Maybe it’s something he said or maybe it’s something he did that you just can’t shake. Whatever it is, never continue investing in a relationship that leaves you feeling unsettled.

You aren’t being treated well
No one deserves to be disrespected, mistreated or taken advantage of. If your mate dishes out abuse in any form, you are with the WRONG person. And even if you wouldn’t classify the poor treatment as abuse, if you know you deserve to be treated better, you need to walk away, so you can be in the right relationship with the right person.

You are involved for the wrong reasons
There are so many good reasons to be with someone, but there are just as many bad reasons. If you are with someone for superficial reasons, those won’t be enough to build a strong relationship. There has to be some substance involved. Your relationship has to be about more than just income and physical attraction. When you are with the right person, your reasons for choosing that mate will still matter in years to come. That’s what real love is about.

You are always making excuses for him
I have been around women who seem to make 101 excuses for why their man has behaved a certain way. Now whether you are publicly making excuses for him or you are just making up excuses in your own head, it’s a sure sign that you are in the wrong relationship. You won’t ever see the need to constantly make excuses for your mate when you are in the right relationship. A mate truly invested in fostering a 50/50 partnership in love and life will want to take every action within his power to make you happy—and that’s something you shouldn’t have to excuse.

The idea of forever is not appealing
If marriage is part of your plan, but the idea of forever with this person feels unbearable, you are in the wrong relationship. It’s okay if you just don’t feel ready for marriage in general, but if marrying a particular person makes you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, you probably haven’t found the right person yet.

BMWK family, how do you know if you’re in the wrong relationship?