Is age really just a number or is age a number that corresponds to a value that the number represents? “Just a number” suggests that the amount expressed by the relative number is insignificant. In other words, “A number is a number.”
No one really believes that.
If anyone believed that, various salaries for a job offer by a potential employer would mean nothing. $50,000, $75,000, $100,000, and even $1,000,000 are all “just a number”, right? I think we all know better.
Still, there are even more severe ramifications that must be considered when the same notion is applied to men and women in dating relationships. The issue of broad age differences between men and women is a constant concern and, therefore, a necessary topic for discussion within the dating community.
The statement “Age ain’t nothing but a number” oversimplifies, if not trivializes, age disparities without any thought for differences that exist in various contexts where there is relevance. Justifiably, ladies want to know what age is too old or too young for them to consider when responding to men that express an interest in them.
Some ladies set hard-and-fast rules that place limits on the age of men with whom they will consider dating. There are certain unfair generalizations made based solely upon age that, if adhered to, could rule out good men that are deemed too young as well as good men that are deemed too old.
For those that favor older men, it’s assumed that age brings with it a greater level of maturity than that of their younger counterparts. While that should be the case, often it is not. The fact that one man has been on planet earth considerably longer than another man means that he has had more years to experience life.
Its many ups and downs leave great lasting impressions that provide many lessons to be learned from and lived by. However, this sequence does not always follow the script that many suppose. Many times, life provides experiences that some never learn from, but instead, continue to press replay and never learning the lessons that life affords through its many life-altering experiences.
There are many old fools and many young men with brilliant young minds that have gained wisdom beyond their own experiences. The reverse is also true. There are older brilliant men and many young immature, foolish men. The fact that remains is that neither of these categories of men can be known simply by the date of either man’s birth.
The underlying root of these beliefs must be carefully considered. They stem from either of two positions, fear or conceit. A woman, who has been deeply wounded in a relationship where her significant other was a younger man, may be more likely to rule out ever dating younger men again, having attributed the failed relationship to the age difference.
Here, fear acts as a buffer from future pain. Younger women sometimes opt to date older men as a show of their maturity compared to that of younger men within their own age range. This often sets them up as easy targets for older male predators that take advantage of their naiveté. Here, conceit works against them.
Unfortunately, there are no replacement methods for getting to know a person that guarantee against pain or loss. Dating offers no such magic pill to swallow or easy road to travel only a means to get to know a person of interest. This is why dating with purpose, with sober mindedness, and not casually or haphazardly is a necessity.
Finally, by no means must fear be allowed any place to guide any male/female interactions, where past failed relationships set the rule for future expectations. Past experiences are relative to the person with whom those experiences were gained and not by every person within the same gender class. Let each man bear the burden of his own behavior. Let them identify him alone and not just his age alone.
BMWK, Is age really only a number when it comes to dating?