Are you confused because you’ve invested time and energy into a relationship with a man who tells you he loves, says he wants to marry you, but then suddenly pulls away and changes his mind?

Do you want to know exactly what happened and how you can change things so that you end up with the love and marriage you desire and deserve?

If you’ve found yourself in this situation more times than a Braxton sister changes hairstyles, then you need to understand the major difference between a man who pursues you, and a man who will woo you.

The word “pursue” originally meant to chase someone with the intent to capture or harm her. The definition evolved to include “to chase, or hunt, to follow or be involved in.” When you apply these concepts to dating, getting a man to pursue you simply means he’ll do everything in his power to get your attention and become involved with you. It doesn’t mean he’s going to commit to anything beyond that.

In other words, just because a man pursues you, it doesn’t mean he’s serious about marrying you. This is why a player can and will invest a lot of time, money and energy into chasing a woman and then walk away once he’s achieved his goal. The thrill was in the pursuit and once he’s accomplished it, he’s on to the next one.

Just because a man pursues you, it doesn’t mean he’s serious about marrying you.

Instead, you want a man to woo you. To woo means to seek someone’s favor…to win her heart with the intention of marriage. When a man woos you, he is trying to make you fall in love with him so that he can commit to you. You don’t have to question his intentions or wonder if he’s just going to leave after he’s done with you. He’s serious about commitment!

Here are 3 ways to inspire a man to woo you:

1. Be trusting

It’s easier to try to win your heart if you don’t have The Great Wall of China surrounding it! You may have been hurt in the past and believe you have a right to be guarded. But, a man will not invest much time in winning your affections if he doesn’t think the feelings are mutual. Learn how to trust yourself and honor your instincts. Then, you can trust a man without fear of being taken advantage of by a him. You can let yourself be loved.

2.  Be vulnerable

Vulnerability isn’t about being weak. It’s about being in touch with your feelings and having the courage to share them. Good men are attracted to you when you are emotionally vulnerable because you’re open and able to receive love. You’re relaxed. There’s no drama because you don’t walk around stuffing in your feelings. You’re confident. And you’re not afraid to tell him how you feel about him!

A man who pursues you can make you feel used. A man who woos you will cherish, respect and appreciate you.

3. Manage your sexual energy

When it comes to sex, you’ve been taught to lock it up, shut it down, and turn it off if you want to understand a man’s true intentions.  But your God given sexuality wasn’t meant to be buried. It was meant to be managed!  Imagine that your sexuality is like headlights on a car. Some of you need to turn the light on so that a man can see you! Others of you have your high beams on and it’s blinding men to your other amazing qualities.

When you manage your sexual energy, you put sex in its place and allow a man to reveal his true intentions to you. A man who is simply pursuing you will leave when he realizes you won’t cave in to his attempts to conquer you. But a man who is serious about wooing you, will respect the pace you set for your relationship and will want to know your boundaries.

A man who pursues you and a man who woos you both make the effort to get your attention. But to separate the men from the boys, you need to pay attention to the energy they use to win your heart. A man who pursues you can make you feel used. A man who woos you will cherish, respect and appreciate you.

BMWK ladies, do you want a man to pursue you or woo you?