If you’re like many of the single moms I work with, you probably find yourself in one of these situations:
- You’re worried about introducing a new person into your kids’ lives.
- You have no time to think about yourself! When will you have time to think about a man?
- You haven’t dated in years. You’ve sacrificed your personal love life to raise the kids and make sure they were okay. Now that your kids are grown, you’re taking care of your elderly parents when you thought you’d finally have time to find love.
I’m here to tell you that single moms get to have love too. I want to help you date successfully by offering you 3 simple tips.
Put yourself first
I know your first reaction is, that’s easier said than done! I know you feel like you can barely catch your breath with all the things you have to do on a daily basis. But that’s why you have to secure your own oxygen mask first before helping others!
Related: Parents, do you take better care of your children than yourself?
Imagine this: How could life be easier if you had the right partner in it? What if you had someone in your life right now who could help you with the kids, provide another income, and be a shoulder for you to lean on? By putting your need for love at the top of your “to do list,” you’ll make your life as a mom more fulfilling.
Build a support team
If you’re going to date successfully as a single mom, you won’t be able to do it alone. You’re good at supporting everyone else. Now it’s time to give yourself permission to be supported! Write down the names of 5 people you can call on to help with the kids when you have a date.
These are people who believe in love, don’t “man bash,” and can give you good, honest advice about your choice in men. If you can’t think of 5 people who love you enough to be in your village, then you have work to do! Look for meetups and single mom support groups to connect with like-minded women you can call friend.
Get clear on who would make a perfect partner for you
Now I’m not talking about writing out some checklist filled with attributes like “tall, good job, loves God.” You need to go deeper and think about the kind of man who can handle a relationship with a single mother.
Related: Does God choose the person you’re supposed to marry?
And, guess what? In my interviews with single men, many tell me they have no problem dating a woman with kids. In fact, many men expect it in today’s modern dating world!
This means you can open yourself up to meeting a variety of men, some of whom may be single fathers themselves. If one of them has a problem with you being a single parent, he isn’t the right one for you!
There are men out there who will love you and your kids. It’s time to give yourself permission to be loved. Single moms get to be loved too!
BMWK single moms, what are your dating challenges? Share below and I’ll do my best to answer your questions.
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