Why does it seem like sometimes we treat everyone else better than we treat our mates? So let me get this straight…the person you CHOSE to spend your life with, to cherish, to love, to have and to hold and to love until death do you part is the person that you treat with the least kindness, patience, appreciation, and support?
YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!
Okay, so before y’all think I’m being judgmental, understand that these are reality checks I’ve had with myself and I think some of you would agree that you need to do the same. But first, let me outline a few things or people you treat better than your mate.
1) Your job and co-workers
So you go to work every day and smile in the face of your co-workers. You’re nice, patient, helpful, and you do everything in your power to get the job done. You go in early and you leave late so you can progress in your career; but you don’t even give a quarter of that same effort at home.
- Your mate asks you to do something and you act like the world is going to end.
- They ask you to make time for them and your answer is always – “I don’t have time.”
- They’ve even asked you to go to counseling to help strengthen the relationship but you won’t go.
But somehow, you managed to take those extra classes to get better at that job of yours! And you wonder why your loved one doesn’t feel like a priority.
2) Your church family
Hey, I’m all for a healthy spiritual life and doing God’s work, but if your marriage is a covenant under God, how can you find time for all things church related but nothing marriage related? You’re at Bible study Monday, a church committee meeting Tuesday, revival on Wednesday, and choir practice Thursday. You finally have a free day on Friday, but when your mate asks to make it a date night, you’re too tired.
You know what’s going on in the pastor’s house more than you know what’s going on in your own house.
It’s okay to be committed to your church, but be just as committed to your mate!
3) Your friends and family
You will drop everything you are doing to help your brothers, sisters, parents, or friends. You will spend time on the phone having conversation after conversation and you will even lend money or resources.
Your mate tries to have a conversation about what’s important to them and you show little to no interest. Suddenly your listening ear goes deaf and if they want to spend some “resources” on something for them suddenly the well has run dry. Step back and think about that…!
4) Your committees and organizations
You find time every weekend to attend your fraternity or sorority meetings, to hang with your sports teams or your bike club, pageant moms or the like.
Your mate has wanted to go on that trip for months, begging you to go on that date, or just asking for some “we time,” yet you haven’t found time yet to make any of those a priority. Trust me he or she notices what the priority is and even if it’s not always said, it’s always felt.
5) Your business
Believe me when I say that I KNOW entrepreneurship takes a lot of time and effort; but so does a healthy relationship. Entrepreneurship can also be stressful, but what’s even more stressful is being an entrepreneur and having an unhappy and unfulfilled mate at the same time. Take care of home and home will help you take care of that business!
So what’s my point?
My point is that sometimes we have to stop depending on tomorrow and make our mates a priority today. I know more than likely the love of your life will be there again when you wake up; but I also know that he or she is probably very tired of getting only your leftover time, attention, and energy. You chose to make her your wife and you chose to make him your husband so now you must choose to make them a priority once again. Don’t give your mate the leftovers: give them the BEST of you!
BMWK Family, what part of you is your mate getting, the best or the leftovers?