Many singles are frustrated with their single status. Most don’t understand why they aren’t either meeting the right caliber of people or their relationships aren’t lasting for a longer period of time.
If this sounds like you, then perhaps it’s time for a little introspection. Here are eight reasons why you might still be single:
You want a relationship but fear of true authentic transparency and intimacy cause you to subconsciously sabotage the relationship. You take your potential mate on an emotional roller coaster, which causes them to eventually walk away from your self-inflicted chaos and confusion.
2) Impatient Choices
Instead of waiting for someone worthy, some singles settle for Mr. or Ms. Right Now. As long as they are breathing and showing interest, they are a potential mate. It’s better than being alone, right? WRONG! This type of thinking will only add to your frustration. It won’t take long before you become bored or disinterested and disappointed with your decision. And while you are dealing with Mr. or Ms. Waste of Time, what you want is passing you by.
3) Too Picky
You want the perfect mate. However that person doesn’t exist. Throw away your fantasy checklist of “must have’s” and determine your three to five (maximum) deal breakers. Anything over five is unrealistic because you must allow individuals to be human. Once you downsize your checklist, you will instantly discover a more diverse dating pool.
4) No More Victim
Stop blaming the world for your failed relationship. If the relationship didn’t work out, take an honest assessment of why it failed. What part did you play in the failure? What lessons can you learn from past relationships? What will you do differently going forward? Choose to learn and apply the lesson. Now open your heart and mind to find love again.
5) No More Exes
If you want to meet the “one” you have to let your ex go. You can’t pursue a new relationship with an old one hanging around. Remember your ex is an ex for a reason. LET EM GO!
6) Brick Wall
Most people, especially singles, don’t realize they’ve erected an emotional wall screaming, “LEAVE ME ALONE” while simultaneously wondering why they aren’t meeting anyone. Your emotional wall can stem from your past, a broken heart or constant disappointment from family, friends or an intimate relationship. Whatever the issues stem from, you must deal with the issues from your past in order to have a productive future. No one is perfect but at the same time, everyone is not out to hurt you. Take time to heal before pursuing a new relationship.
You’ve become very set in your ways. It’s easier to go home than go out and mix and mingle with strangers. Your house has become your emotional haven, and you have a date every night with your television. If you want to meet someone, you have to go where people are. God could send Mr. or Ms. Right to your front door but it’s very unlikely! Get back out there and allow yourself to meet someone new.
8) Not Now
I know this is a hard concept to grasp, but maybe it’s just not the time for you to meet someone or to be in a relationship. It could be that this is a time and season for you to focus on YOU. Don’t take this time for granted, spend your time wisely. When a potential mate arrives, you won’t have this special time to yourself. Enjoy it while you can.
Now let’s be honest, if you find that you are guilty of any of the above items, take ownership and work on making the necessary changes to heal your heart and emotions. In doing so, it will prepare you for the new relationship you desire. If you find that this is just your time to be alone, don’t dread it; bask in it instead. Spend this time getting to know and love the incredible person that you are. Realize in time you will meet your mate but for now, enjoy you!
BMWK, which reason do you think is contributing to your singleness?