By: Ashleigh Hargrave

“Let me tell you about my man.  He works at ACME cleaners, drives a 2015 car, loves to play golf and went to state university.”

“Bro, my girl is fire. She works at the bank, has her own house, bakes wedding cakes on the side and can play a mean game of spades.”

During courtship, couples are seriously into one another.  They learn and spend as much time with each other as they can. Everything that the other is involved in becomes a priority.

Now, some ladies are sports fanatics. But ladies, let’s admit it, how many of you have sat through one too many sports events just because your man loves to watch sports? And guys, how many of you have sat in the mall as your girl goes to each and every store.

While we can all look back at those dating times and say they were the young and in love times, do you continue to do it now? Now that you’ve said “I do” are you still studying and spending time with your spouse?

Related: 4 Things I’ve learned in my first few years of marriage that kept us together

My husband and I had the opportunity to attend Black and Married with Kids bootcamp in Greensboro, NC. It was a day full of not only information, but fun. One of the takeaways from the conference was to invest in your spouse. So many of us invest in our careers, our cars, and even our hobbies, but we often fail to invest in one of the most important relationships of our lives outside of God.

This happens sometimes out of the sheer busyness of our day to day lives and can also happen as each spouse solely takes interest in their own concerns. It’s hard to remain united with your spouse when you have nothing to be united on. Here are a few ways to continue to learn your spouse:

Pray for and with each other

When you listen and unite on heart issues you become spiritually and emotionally closer. You are also able to connect and learn what is on your spouse’s heart.

The strength received through praying with and for each other serves as binding strand that helps your relationship stand firm and ensure it is not easily broken.

Discover common interests

Have you always had an interest in learning how to do a specific dance? Find a class in your area and sign up for a few classes. While you might not be the best dancer, I guarantee you will learn something new about each other.

And that, after all, is the point of discovery.

Related: 5 Surprising things you’ll discover by simply observing your spouse

So whether it’s dance, painting, or pottery making, it’s the adventure of learning something new that will bring you closer together.

Take interest in what inspires your spouse

Talk to your spouse. Turn off the cellphone, don’t scroll the social media and really dive in and find out what excites each other. Once you know, take some time and enjoy those activities and pursuits together.

You may be surprised at how incredibly special you make your spouse feel that you are wholeheartedly willing to spend time doing what they enjoy.

Unlike some courses in school, studying your spouse can actually be enjoyable and being the teacher’s pet might get you some extra rewards!

BMWK, What new things can you learn about your spouse?

Ashleigh Hargrave is a healthcare professional whose professional interests include empowerment through education especially in the arenas of  wellness and health. She is passionate about her family and friends and enjoys reading, traveling and fitness.