Sometimes...just sometimes, I open my mouth and find a way to put my foot in it. Colloquially, putting your foot in places like the food you cook is a good thing. Putting it in your mouth is a bad, bad thing. Lately, for some reason, my mouth has tasted every bit of the terrain I've been walking upon. My husband, unfortunately, has been bearing the brunt of the … [Read more...]
On In-Laws: Chew the Meat, Spit the Bones Out
by Harriet Hairston My marriage hasn't been a crystal stair, y'all. It's been full of heartache, stress, poor decisions and frustration. Yet through it all, the love Mr. Incredible and I share still overcomes all those challenges and evaporates the manure we get ourselves into. We manage to always come out smelling like roses (thank God for His grace!). However, if … [Read more...]
How To Protect Your Marriage From Danger Zones
by Harriet Hairston Danger zone: a dangerous area; a geographical region, personal association, or scope of activity in which the probability of loss, injury or other undesirable outcomes is at its highest. Perhaps warning signs along open manhole covers in the city come to mind when you think about this definition. But what about the danger zones we encounter … [Read more...]
Can I Tell You a Secret?
by Harriet Hairston Psst! C'mere! Can I tell you a secret? It's juicy, and could potentially be very harmful to you, your spouse and your children, but it could also potentially set you all free. Can I tell you? Can I trust you to keep it just between the two of us? Seriously, beyond what I share on BMWK, you barely know me! Would you trust a person who … [Read more...]
The Grandparents? My Parents Became
by Harriet Hairston Bill Cosby once told his children that his parents were not the people he grew up with. He said of his mother, "You're looking at an old person who's trying to get into heaven now!" I have had the opportunity to watch my sons interact with their grandmothers this summer, and to some extent, I feel the same way Bill Cosby did. Grandparents … [Read more...]
Zero Tolerance for Collateral Damage?
by Harriet Hairston As you know, the United States is at war with a few countries right now. Collateral damage in warfare is an issue that has plagued our military since the Revolutionary War. It happens when inadvertent casualties and destruction are inflicted upon non-combatants (civilians) during the course of war or other military operations. I have compared a … [Read more...]
Everything Ain’t Nothing…
by Harriet Hairston I just finished watching Alicia Keys perform on the 10th Annual BET Awards. It's really hard to believe she's been in the business for 10 years! She is a powerful lyricist, a prolific performer and a rare gem in the music world. Her talent and drive are second to none, and she is a perfect example of what hard work, tenacity and perseverance … [Read more...]
When You’re Having a Pity Party, Sometimes You Just Have to Check Yourself
by Harriet Hairston I watched a vignette from Vince Vujicic on youtube, and had to check myself. I've seen inspirational speakers like him before, with one or more disabilities, but his words managed to speak beyond my personal despair to the heart of the matter: In life, ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING. Even Jesus could not help me when my attitude was dead set on … [Read more...]
Don’t Call it a Comeback!?
by Harriet Hairston I've truly been here for years...dealing with hardships and bouncing back. Experiencing disappointment and bouncing back. Losing everything and bouncing back. This is nothing new to me. C'est la vie...such is life. Nevertheless, as you read a couple of weeks ago, I was having a rough time mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. It … [Read more...]
Training Value?
by Harriet Hairston When I was growing up, there were times when my parents, wanting to protect me from all the evils of the world, would lay their law down without budging. They told me what I could do, when I could do it, how I could do it and who I could do it with. When I got older, I started needing to know the WHY behind all the rules. That "WHY" is important to … [Read more...]
Rules of Transition?
by Harriet Hairston I have had an interesting weekend. We finally (praise GOD!!!!) made our move to North Carolina, and we are adjusting to the change quite well. Being around family--both those I know and those I've just met--always seems to make everything so much better. When things change, refreshing comes; however that is not without its negative moments. To help … [Read more...]
When Suicide Seems to be the Answer
by Harriet Hairston I told Lamar I wasn't going to write about this right now. I told him to pray for my husband and I because collectively, we've hit a rough patch, and to write about it would do nothing but make it worse. But I'm a two-faced fighter. Something inside me feels like curling up in a closet and hiding from all this, but there is a greater need … [Read more...]
The Two-Faced Fighter?
by Harriet Hairston I'd like to introduce you to an author who loves to help others through her work. She is exciting, pleasant to be around, full of humor, always willing to lend a hand to others in need. Her children are well mannered and fun loving. They love to play, run, laugh and learn. She and her husband struggle financially, but they don't allow … [Read more...]
A Personal Response to the “Divorce Kool Aid”?
by Harriet Hairston As a Christian, I tend to deal with issues in black and white. But I've been living long enough to realize that LIFE happens between the hues of those non-colors, and the iridescence of it can be dizzying at times. As such, I would like to take the time to give the readers a background of the belief system that drives me to write my life as an … [Read more...]
Marriage Memorial Day
by Harriet Hairston I served the United States honorably as a military officer for eight years. I have had to inform spouses and children that their loved ones had been killed in action. I have had to orchestrate memorial ceremonies for those lost in mass casualty incidents. In that light, as I write this article on Memorial Day 2010, I would also like to honor … [Read more...]